The Blurst Times

New Arrested Development Movie & Series Confirmed

2011-10-02T22:33:00.003+01:00

Ever since Fox cancelled the cult favourite sitcom Arrested Development in 2006, fans the world over have been desperate for more claiming that Fox made a characteristically Bluthesque “huge mistake” by cancelling the show.

The show’s creators and cast reunited at the New Yorker Festival this weekend and delivered some exciting news to the show’s legion of followers.

Mitch Hurwitz, the show's creator, confirmed speculation that there will be a film with an additional, promotional TV mini-series of 9 or 10 episodes focussing on a different character each week, emphasising what they have been doing in the years since cancellation.

Jason Bateman, who plays Michael Bluth, said: “We’re hoping to start shooting the movie this summer, with the new series to start screening in the Autumn. Hopefully.”

It had been previously suggested that Michael Cera, or George Michael Bluth, had been preventing the film's production due to his resounding success in the last five years, starring in films such as Superbad and Scott Pilgrim vs The World.

However, Mitch Hurwitz confirmed that he was just joking that Cera was the problem saying, “By the way, we thought it would be funny if we said that Michael Cera was holding up the film. Er, that was a joke.”

It is as yet unconfirmed if Gob Bluth has become a full-time Hot Cop.

Fiery Irn Bru

2011-09-19T22:21:00.002+01:00

A G Barr release limited edition Fiery Irn Bru.

Girders, fizz and bag loads of nationalism.

A G Barr- the makers of Scotland’s ‘other’ national drink Irn Bru, announced today a new addition to the range - ‘Fiery Irn Bru’.

The new limited edition drink will be available for 10 weeks only from the 26th of september and will be available in the 330ml cans and larger bottles.

Fiery Irn Bru

Little is known about the new product. However, we do know that it’s going to be packed with chilli and ginger.

The company, founded in 1875 by Robert Barr in the Scottish town of Falkirk, has grown to become one of the most popular drink distributors in the United Kingdom, producing 19 brands.

Up until very recently, Irn Bru has been the best selling fizzy drink in Scotland outselling rivals such as Coca-Cola. The two now sell around equal numbers.

But it’s not just the Scots who love a sip of ‘girders’. As of 2010 Irn Bru was revealed as the 3rd most popular drink in the United Kingdom with Pepsi & Coca-cola beating it.

International demand means the drink is now produced in 19 countries, as far away as Pakistan and Australia.

Fiery Irn Bru is already being seen as a direct competitor to the new Levi Roots 'Reggae Reggae' Caribbean drinks range.

But with a sound campaign team behind the Irn Bru brand- It's sure to be a success.

Fiery Irn Bru & Vodka Please!!!

Fiery Irn Bru Launch.

Graeme Aitken
@GraemeAitken

Halls Etiquette

2011-08-30T11:59:00.001+01:00

Your parents will tell you that they key to a successful first year in halls is treating your flatmates with respect; don’t leave breadcrumbs in their butter, don’t make a mess, blah blah blah and also, yawn.

Follow our top tips for a first year you’ll never remember!

1. Drink. The time of day and day of the week don’t matter. Just drink.
2. Get a reputation for being absolutely mental within the first three nights.
3. Do not learn to cook but learn all the numbers for takeaways.
4. Always bring back some kind of trophy from a night out whether it’s a traffic cone, road sign or a hot member of the opposite sex.
5. More drink is genuinely the best hangover cure.
6. Never back down from a dare.
7. Never cockblock, it’s unforgivable.
8. If you’re female, you must act like a lesbian when required to save your friend from creeps.
9. Do a pub golf themed night at least once a year.
10. Play the “never have I ever” drinking game on the first night of freshers; you may not be able to tell anyone your flatmate’s last name but you can retell all their embarrassing sex stories during the next game.
11. Shotgun is a genuine rule and should never be ignored.
12. Never refuse a night out; only having a tenner to last you until the end of the month or having an exam the next day are not excuses.
13. Don’t moan when you get the last king; just drink the dirty pint and shut up.
14. Pre drink before pre drinks.
15. Always obey the command “man up.”

So you're 17?

2011-08-30T11:56:00.003+01:00

Fresher’s week is like a rite of passage, an initiation test for all new students. A week of drinking an outrageous amount of alcohol and doing stupid things you know you’ll regret in the morning. You’ve probably never been more excited about anything in your life? Just one problem, you’re still 17.

Well you know what they say; if Mohammed can’t go to the mountain take the mountain to Mohammed. Or, in this case, if you can’t get into a club then turn your flat into a club. Most of my flatmates, including me, were underage during our first fresher’s week but this didn’t stop us going wild. Within the first week we’d squeezed roughly about 60 people at a time into our tiny flat, one of us passed out in the toilet and had to be put to bed by an RA and most importantly, gained a reputation for throwing amazing parties!

So here are some top tips for enjoying your underage fresher’s week:
1) Drink.
2) Play music obscenely loud, it’ll soon attract fellow party goers.
3) Hit up the Union and when it closes drag your fellow underagers back to your flat for an after party.
4) Learn to clean up quickly so you can get back on it the following night.

However, if you’re not up for drinking every night there’s plenty of other things you can get involved in. Societies put on different events throughout the week that don’t involve copious amounts of alcohol, for example there is a Wii night at Hillhead Café for AU students and RGU:RAG will be kicking off their annual BBQ tour at Woolmanhill halls and moving round the various sites dishing out burgers!

There's plenty of other sober activities throughout the day including cinema trips with free admission at Vue cinema and The Belmont Picturehouse. The films on show range from The Lion King in 3D to Braveheart so we're sure you'll find something you want to see. We're also running a free bus tour round Aberdeen city centre which is handy for getting your bearings!

Fresher's 2011 - The Lineup

2011-08-30T11:54:00.003+01:00

The RGU fresher’s week 2011 line up has been released and it’s looking amazing!

Saturday 17th September

Hit up RGU:UNION from 9pm for a cheeky wee dram then follow the fresher’s team to Liquid for the official big welcome party!

Sunday 18th September
So we know you’ve left school and you’re a universitaaay student now but that’s no excuse not to don your school tie once more and disgrace the place with your drunken antics! The party kicks off at the union from 9pm again and then it’s straight onto Liquid for another night of wild partying with special guest, Glowbot!

Monday 19th September
Unfortunately Example's had to reschedule his gig and will be back in the Deen in October. If you've bought a ticket then you can still use it when he's back. Instead why don't you gt on your glad rags and hit up Liquid who are running a prize draw, top prize is £1000.

Tuesday 20th September
How many of you have seen The Inbetweeners Movie this summer and have now decided you
want to go to Malia? Well we’re bringing you the next best thing – the get your Greek on toga party followed by a UV night at Liquid.

Wednesday 21st September
We have a Bloc Party DJ set in Liquid and a pre Bloc Party arranged in the union!

Thursday 22nd September
Now Aberdeen’s not really known for its sunny spells but for one night only RGU:UNION are bringing you Baywatch style beach party followed by a foam party in Liquid.

Friday 23rd September
Aberdeen’s best UV night! Grab your glowsticks, coat yourself in UV paint, it’s sure to be a messy night!

Saturday 24th September
The ultimate halls challenge hits the union on Saturday! Which halls are the best, Woolmanhill, Rosemount, St Peters, Linksfield, Don Street or Garthdee? Well let’s find out in the most studentish way possible – a drinking competition! All this followed by a live appearance of the Geordie Shore cast in Liquid.

Sunday 25th September

You’re probably feeling sleepy after all this partying, right? So now’s your chance to party in your pyjamas as we round off fresher’s week in style! Grab your teddy and hot water bottle (use it as a hip flask) and head on down to the union for one last night of mental partying! The Futureheads will be rounding things off on a high with a DJ set in Liquid, who’ll be the last freshers standing?

Get free entry & Q-Jump for ALL NIGHTS in Freshers Week by buying a FRESHERS WRISTBAND.

Ask your Freshers Team for more details when you arrive.

RGU:RAG Fresher's Plans!

2011-08-30T11:14:00.006+01:00

RGU's Raising and Giving society reveal their plans for Freshers Week 2011.

RAG stands for “raising and giving.” We are part of a national network of RAG groups. The society is led and run entirely by students. RGU:RAG was established in 2003 and has been going from strength to strength ever since.

But most of all, RAG is about having fun! Over the years we’ve proven that we’ll do almost anything for a good cause, from walking round campus dressed up as a banana to jumping out of planes!

If you are interested in finding out more and signing up come along to our first meeting on the 29th of September. You'll find us on the 1st floor of the Union at 8 o'clock!

We have a range of events on during Fresher's Week to give you a taste of some of the things we get up to from running in to the North Sea in fancy dress to walking across burning hot coals there's something for everyone in RAG.

We'll be collecting in the Union most nights during Fresher's Week for Macmillan Cancer Care, we'll be easy to spot in bright green t-shirts.

Our BBQ tour will be back by popular demand. We kick it off in Woolmanhill car park from 12:30 on Sunday 18th September, head to Rosemount on the 21st and St Peters on the 24th!

We'll be taking to the streets on the 19th as part of a street collection for the Macmillan Cancer Care.
You'll find us in ABS on Tuesday selling cakes to the masses after the success of our bake sale during RAG:WEEK in February.

If you like what you've heard so far you can come along to the fresher's fayre on Thursday to sign up and join in the madness yourself.

On Thursday night we're holding a slave auction so put down the dishes and bag yourself a PA for 24 hours, highest bidder wins!

On Friday we'll be cooling down a little and heading down to the beach where we'll have loads of games and activites throughout the day! Then at 2:00 pm we'll wave goodbye to our dignity and run in to a freezing cold North Sea all in the name of charity!

Flickheads: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2

2011-07-23T19:17:00.000+01:00

Kieran Beattie and the Flickheads podcast team review Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2.

You can also listen to the Flickheads podcasts as soon as they've been uploaded at the Flickheads Facebook page.

The alternative Mercuries

2011-07-22T23:11:00.003+01:00

The announcement of the nominees for the Mercury Music Prize, awarded to the all-round best album of the past twelve months, has divided opinion among critics and fans. Here, we look at the albums that perhaps deserved it a little more...

SBTRKT SBTRKT
While SBTRKT, as a name, has emerged only within the last few months as an artist, the man behind the mask - who we'll keep anonymous, despite his name being widely revealed throughout the blogosphere - has actually been producing music for years. He's channeled every last ounce of his expertise into this record, which flows and teases in equal measure and is accessible as well as deeply concealed.

Bill Wells & Aidan Moffat Everything's Getting Older
The best man to come out of Falkirk since, uh, Bill Wells, Aidan Moffat decided one day to try and cobble together some music. Formerly a member of Arab Strap, Aidan Moffat & The Best-Ofs and The Sick Anchors, his latest collaboration is, lyrically, as immensely dark as the childish cover would hint. Parts heavily built on delicate piano, and parts clashing with joyous melodies. It's full of surprises and deliciously low budget.

Wild Beasts Smother

This was the kicker, really. They became a trending topic on Twitter immediately following the news that they were not receiving a nod - that alone is tantamount to the massive following the Kendal troupe have garnered. Smother is a curious record, mingling loss with love, death with life, all richly and lovingly transcribed into song.

Radiohead The King of Limbs

Ah, Radiohead. The band that everybody cites when they're thinking on their feet about odd music; the band who could cause controversy by laying a finger out of place. The reaction to TKOL was mixed, certainly. Some despise it, dismissing it as too short, too messy. But some adore it - the subtle noises kept in, the precision, and the sheer thought and freshness of it all.

Gold Panda Lucky Shiner

I think perhaps choosing Tinie Tempah over the sheer musical prowess of Gold Panda speaks volumes about the board behind the Mercuries, but no matter. Lucky Shiner was utterly lauded by blogs from all over the world when it surfaced last year, and for good reason - never before have crackles and pops been so effective in the middle of an electronic piece. Splendid stuff.

The Horrors Skying

Let us set this straight: Personally, I despised Primary Colours, the band's second album which was receiving every man and his dog's limitless praise. It was droll, didn't go anywhere, and just floated around in your ears, never once gripping you or making you feel anything. So perhaps I am not the one to form opinion on this album. Other than "it's amazing".

Joe Sutherland
@foxhuntingx

This week's new singles: July 18

2011-07-16T14:54:00.002+01:00

We take a look at this week's new singles you'll definitely want to listen out for.

Bowling for Soup - 'Turbulence' (Digital Release)
It might just be my limited knowledge of them, but Bowling for Soup aren't the sort of band you'd expect a huge ballad from, let alone a decent one. And because of this, I can't help but feel that 'Turbulence' is going to be overlooked by a lot of people, despite actually being pretty good. It wouldn't surprise me if another musician covers this in a few years (with lots of smoke and wind machines) to huge critical acclaim and lots of money. It's a shame because, while BFS' version is great, I can't help but feel that someone else might do it slightly better.

Frankmusik - 'Do It In The AM (feat. Far East Movement)' (Digital Release)
I'm not sure how Frankmusik has been able to take the subject matter (partying all night) and synthy R&B-influenced beats of most current chart songs and come up with something both similar and completely different to everything else. 'Do It In The Am' also features Far East Movement doing a short rap two-thirds of the way through - a risky move that can sometimes completely ruin a song (see: Katy Perry's re-released 'E.T.'). But, the rap fits surprisingly well with the rest of the song, keeping the fast pace and party feeling until the end, where the song disintegrates with a fantastic dubstep-esque breakdown.

Nicola Roberts - 'Beat of My Drum' (Physical Release)
If you heard this song but didn't know whose it was by, I don't think Nicola Roberts would be anywhere near your first guesses. When a solo album from the Girls Aloud member was first announced, I doubt that anyone thought the lead single would sound like this. With some help from Diplo, 'Beat of My Drum' has Uffie-inspired "sing-talking" verses, jittery beats and wobbly synths. And with its catchy chanty chorus, this is definitely one of the best pop songs of the summer, if not the whole year.

James Wyllie

Flickheads: Bridesmaids

2011-07-14T14:47:00.002+01:00

Kieran Beattie and the Flickheads podcast team review Bridesmaids.
Flickheads #11- Bridesmaids by Kieran Beattie

You can also listen to the Flickheads podcasts as soon as they've been uploaded at the Flickheads Facebook page.

Flickheads: Transformers: Dark of the Moon

2011-07-06T21:39:00.005+01:00

The Blurst Times' Kieran Beattie and the Flickheads podcast team review Transformers: Dark of the Moon.

Flickheads #10- Transformers 3 Dark of the Moon by Kieran Beattie

You can also listen to the Flickheads podcast as soon as they've been uploaded on Facebook.

A Blurst Toe?? Haye Vs Klitschko Reaction

2011-07-03T14:18:00.014+01:00

[Wladimir Klitschko shows David Haye that he is the bigger man]

Not with a bang, but with a whimper.

Never has a phrase rung so true as this one did in Hamburg last night. David Haye had promised "Hayemakers", excitement and a knockout victory, in fact, he basically told Wladimir Klitschko another classic phrase: "you're going home in a fucking ambulance".

The problem for the British fighter was that the only thing bigger than his mouth, was "Dr Steelhammer" himself.

In the end, the only thing left for Haye was to complain of a broken toe after the match, which he claimed restricted his ability to step in and attack Klitschko.

[This little piggy went waa waa waa, all the way home]

From the first bell the Ukranian took the fight to Haye, dominating the centre of the ring and showing the Brit that his attempts to get into his head had only served as motivation.

With the exception of rounds three and 12, Haye looked more as if he was trying to get past Klitschko in a busy nightclub than win a boxing match.

It got to the point that frustration was too much for Haye, who began swinging widly at his opponent and dropping to the floor like a pampered footballer. He must've been thinking the same as those urging him on to KO Klitschko with that one special punch: "JUST SMACK HIS PUSS!"

If this bout proved anything, it's that the Klitschko brothers are better heavyweight champions than they are given credit for. Their jobby-jabby tactics may have bored Boxing out of the limelight, but with Haye's showbiz charisma putting this match in the spotlight, the floating viewers of boxing will remember the name of Klitschko as that of a stubborn and impenetrable fighter.

The worrying thing is, Wladimir's older brother Vitali is considered by many as the better fighter, despite holding less belts.

["I don't even have this many pairs of trousers"]

The fact that the brothers refuse to fight each other is a shame for the heavyweight division, because their is an unbeatable stalemate that is grinding heavyweight boxing into the ground. How spoilt must their classmates must have been to watch them scrapping in the playground?

So what now for David Haye? There has been talk of a rematch, but many fans have been disappointed with the tentative nature of this fight, and might not pay to watch these two men fight again. And without his WBA title, Haye has only his charisma and media profile is left to negotiate with.

If Haye wants to retire by - or close to - his 31st birthday, there is onlyone fight left- a rematch with Wlad. And after last night's showing, that fight will either make or break the name of David Haye in Boxing history.

Jim Johnstone

Jim's Football Weekly

2011-07-02T10:42:00.012+01:00

Considering the drama and excitement of Wimbledon, and all the hype around Haye Vs Brother Klitchsko, this week has been an example of the terrible timing involved with creating a weekly football blog during Summer.

Here goes:

Fulham put one trottar into Europa League semi-regional 1/2 qualifying round

["at least they're not sandals, you pricks"]

The hardest part of growing up is giving up those long Summer holidays. Unless you become a teacher, and even then you'll probably still try and get an extra day off before the last two days of term that are also basically days off spent watching some hideous DVD one of the girls brought into registration class.

Another way of getting a nice annual summer holiday is to become a footballer. As if the wages and license to pump any slag [wag] that moves wasn't enough.

Unless you play for Fulham.

Yes, the powers that be decided that the reward for good behaviour during a season should be to start the season in June in the Europa League Qualifying rounds.

This year it was The Cottagers' turn to take one for the team.

They played Nes Soknar Itrottarfelag, one of the biggest names in the draw.

Here were the other big names: Birkirkara, Banants Yerevan, Budapest Podgorica, Itrottarfelag Fuglafjordur, Jagiellonia Bialystock, and Shakhtyor Karaganda.

Anyway, new manager Martin Jol fielded a strong side and got off to a winning start, they take a 3-0 advantage into the second leg thanks to goals from Damien Duff, Danny Murphy and Andrew Johnson.

In case you missed them, here are the all-important results:

Aalesunds FK 4-1 Neath
Banants Yerevan 0-1 Olimpi Rustavi
Birkirkara 0-1 Vllaznia Shkoder
Bud'st Podgorica 1-3 Flamurtari
Dinamo Tbilisi 2-0 FC Milsami Orhei
Elfsborg 4-0 CS Fola Esch
FC Banga 0-4 Karabakh Azersun
FC Daugava 0-5 Tromso
FC Honka 0-0 Nomme Kalju
FC Koper 1-1 FC Shakhtyor Karaganda
FC Spartak Trnava 3-0 Zeta Golubovci
Ferencvaros TC 3-0 Uliss Yerevan
Fulham 3-0 Bes Soknar Itrottarfelag
IBV Vestmannaeyjar 1-0 St Patricks
Itrottarfelag Fuglafjordur 1-3 KR Reykjavik
Jagiellonia Bialystock 1-0 FC Irtysh Pavlodar
Olimpik Baku 1-1 Minsk
Rad Belgrade 6-0 Tre Penne
Renova 2-1 Glentoran
Siroki Brijeg 0-0 Olimpija Ljubljana
The New Saints 1-1 Cliftonville
Trans Narva 1-4 Rabotnicki Skopje
UE Santa Coloma 0-1 Paks
UN 97 Kaerjeng 1-1 Hacken
Varteks 5-1 Lusitanos

This week's big Transfer Maybes:

More Arsenal players say 'life's too short'

["Couldn't it be you instead, Nicklas?"]

Arsenal's Gael Clichy, Samir Nasri, Andrey Arshavin and maybe even Robin Van Persie could soon be following Cesc Fabregas out of the Emirates. Fabregas' departure has been on the cards for some time, and more big names could leave, making it even harder for manager Arsene Wenger to realise his life's dream of truly proving that you can win anything with kids, sticking it to Alan Hansen, and going one better than his grand nemesis Sir Alex Ferguson.

Nacho No-go to Aberdeen (sorry)

[Novo- more than just a badge kisser]

There's been a storm in a teacup after a Scottish paper reported that former Rangers fan favourite and mooner of Aberdonians, Nacho Novo, was offered to Aberdeen.

Dons Manager Craig Brown claimed to have declined the offer, and Novo said he'd never sign because he hates Aberdeen fans and they hate him.

Blurst can reveal that none of this was done to sell papers.

Jim Johnstone

Aberdeen's Northern Lights music festival cancelled

2011-06-30T12:48:00.003+01:00

Aberdeen's Northern Lights music festival has been cancelled just four weeks before the event.

Described as the Aberdeen alternative to Rockness or Belladum, Northern Lights was to take place in Seaton Park over July 30th and 31st.

But it was announced this afternoon via Northern Lights' Facebook page that the festival would not be going ahead due to poor ticket sales.

Organiser Jim Sandison wrote: "We're so sorry to announce that the Northern Lights Music Festival has been cancelled. This has been a heartbreaking decision to make, which has simply been taken out of our hands due to poor ticket sales.

"It would seem, however, that forces this year have conspired against us and unfortunately the show can't go on."

Music fans who bought a ticket for the festival have been reassured that full refunds will be available.

Artists including Paloma Faith and Idlewild were set to perform at Northern Lights festival, but with less than four weeks before the event, the weekend's headline act was still a mystery, something which many said was putting them off buying tickets.

Aberdeen Tunnels and Drummonds had also offered local musicians the chance to perform for the Northern Lights crowds, hosting several local showcases as auditions for festival slots.

There are now calls form the disappointed festivalgoers for other Aberdeen music venues to "re-home" the Northern Lights artists, turning one small festival into a large weekend of music across the city.

Blurst's best albums of 2011 (so far)

2011-06-28T00:17:00.000+01:00

There's a few of us here at Blurst, and we decided it wasn't very fair if just one person picks our favourite albums of the year so far. So we took the diplomatic route and all voted and, after several spreadsheets and points allocations tables, we reached a result...

We polled 10 Blurst contributors (well, everyone involved, but some weren't that interested) and asked for their favourite albums of 2011 so far, with 10 points for a top-ranking album, 8 for second place and so on, up to a maximum of five albums.

The results were quite surprising, but when you've a group of people with such diverse music tastes, they're bound to be.

1. Lady Gaga
Born This Way
38 points

2. Panic! at the Disco
Vices & Virtues
20 points

3. Death Cab for Cutie
Codes and Keys
16 points

4. Yellowcard
When You're Through Thinking, Say Yes
14 points

5. Arctic Monkeys
Suck It and See
12 points

You can see the full table of results below (click to enlarge):

All images have been used in order to promote the artists, but if you would like us to remove your artist's album art, please send us an email and we will remove it immediately.

Has Gaga Gone GooGoo?

2011-06-27T00:16:00.009+01:00

Lady Gaga 2009

Lady Gaga walks down the red carpet wearing nothing but cuts of raw meat and nobody bats an eye-lid. In fact in ‘Gaga’ terms this is a probably a pretty modest outfit.

Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta better known as pop phenomenon ‘Lady Gaga’ is as much as famous for her amazing contributions to the music industry as her ‘wacky’ sense of fashion.

And don’t get me wrong, I as much as anyone love a bit Gaga on a night out, but, there’s no denying her style and personality has changed dramatically since we were first introduced to her in 2008.

Promoting her ‘Just Dance’ single back in the day- with her long blonde beautiful locks, cheeky smile and healthily toned body. Gaga was sure to be a success.

Forward a few years and the 25 year old nowadays often appears tired, extremely skinny and caked in heavy make-up. And it’s really no secret that the pop princess admits that she’s over worked. During her last tour she was forced to cancel several concerts due to illness and fatigue.

'Telephone' video

In early interviews the young musician appeared to be funny and down to earth (Check out Paul O’grady Interview here) but nowadays she appears uptight and pretty adamant the press have something against her.

But nobody can fault Gaga’s admiration for her fans. Referring to them as her ‘Little Monsters’. *Time to grasp your hand like a claw*

She openly admits that she doesn’t take a wage and that all money she makes is pumped back into making her videos and shows etc. Again, maybe a little white lie from the pop princess.

With such a strong gay following, Lady Gaga has since become an activist for gay rights - particularly in America, where she is strongly opposed to the US military’s current "Don’t ask, don’t tell" policy.

She also has appeared at several gay right marches and insists she’s just sticking up for her fans. (Nothing to do with the massive publicity she’ll be getting.)

'Born this way'- 2011

As well as a “we’re not trying to make any money and the title is totally coincidental” new album entitled ‘Born This Way’, the title single will surely become this generation's gay anthem.

We all love Gaga and the music she creates. But her image is obviously driven by her dollar mad record company, so we can assume Gaga’s antics will become more and more outlandish.

Is it time we put the 'Fame Monster' to sleep, just for a little while?

Graeme Aitken

@GraemeAitken

Pictures from http://www.ladygaga.com/

Jim's Football Weekly

2011-06-25T13:30:00.005+01:00

The Blurst Times has insiders and sources at every football club, from Accrington Stanley to Zebrahampton Zonderers. The problem is, none of these trusted -and totally real- insiders can risk having their names published, in fact, some of them don't even have names. But they do exist, and without them, this weekly (if I can be arsed) section wouldn’t be possible, and the faithful reader of this blog wouldn't get their transfer gossip first, fast or eventually.

So here are the big transfer stories Blurst can confirm this week:

JOSE ENRIQUE TO CHELSEA WITH ASHLEY COLE GOING TO NEWCASTLE

[ A Cole pictured in a Newcastle strip]

Newcastle’s left-back has been sought after by a few top Premiership clubs, but Blurst can confirm that North-East club's preferred option is to sell the Spaniard to Chelsea in a part exchange deal which will bring Ashley Cole to Newcastle. An insider source friend of Cole said:

“It’s no secret that Ashley has been trying to reunite with his ex wife, Girls Aloud singer Cheryl Cole, but he is worried she's getting no good advice from her family and friends. He hopes that if he moves North and plays for her local club, The Magpies, she will jump at the chance take him back, he's even offering to let her call the shots on which club he should join.”

RANGERS INCREASE BID FOR LEE WALLACE

[It's a shiny as well- Vlad would have to be some sort of nutter not to accept]

Having failed to match Hearts’ valuation of the Scotland left-back Lee Wallace, Rangers have increased their bid to include the initial £300,000 offer, as well as eight Mitre footballs, a set of 16 bibs, some training cones and a Panini sticker of Rangers that Gers owner Craig Whyte heard Hearts’ Vladimir Romanov needs to finish his collection.

BURSASPOR INTERESTED IN ALL UK-BASED PLAYERS

[Bursaspor's mascot followed by cheap pun about "snapping up" players]

After securing Kenny Miller’s signature in January, Bursaspor have kept up their relentless pursuit of players they played against in the Champions League. The Turkish outfit have been linked with Steven Whittaker, Steve Davis, and Allan McGregor recently, and have claimed to have already signed Whittaker, Celtic's Landry N'Guemo and West Brom's Scott Carson. Wait, that last one did happen- well played Hodgson.

Blurst can reveal that the latest outlandish statement from the club claims that Bursaspor have bought all of these players, as well the whole of Rangers as a club. They claim their owner is the mystery “money man” who helped Craig Whyte buy Rangers.

FABREGAS TO SNUB BARCELONA

[Fabregas proving that sometimes what you loved as a kid isn't all it's cracked up to be]

Arsenal’s talismanic skipper Cesc Fabregas will snub Barcelona AND Arsenal because he is fed up of the pair fighting. Blurst’s insider said:
“Cesc is upset because Arsene Wenger is his father figure in football, but Catalunya is his motherland. He feels it is unfair to have to choose between them, and just wants everyone to get along."

It is believed Fabregas will just buy a boat and ferry tourists to Spain's holiday island resorts.

ARSENAL TO SIGN FOUR BLOKES YOU‘VE NEVER HEARD OF FROM FRENCH TEAMS

[I still don't know who this guy is]

Something about promising young athletes, something about being capped at Under-21 level, something about goals in Ligue 1, something about being the next somebody.

STEWART DOWNING PLAYS DOWN LIVERPOOL LINK

[His other wall has Boyzone, Take That and East-17 on it]

Aston Villa winger and Liverpool target Stewart Downing has played down the controversy created when a photo of him with reds striker Andy Carroll and a Liverpool scarf was published in a 'family newspaper'. Blurst can exclusively reveal a picture of the winger with his favourite team scarves on his bedroom wall, which should kill off any outlandish speculation of that clearly fake picture.

McCLEISH TO USE CASH FROM SALE OF YOUNG & DOWNING

[Alex McCleish's ideal player]

Despite the picture of Downing with all those scarves, he is still set to move to Liverpool. Villa manager Alex McCleish will use the money from the sale of Young and Dowling to buy direct replacements in midfield. These replacements are certain to be resiliant, robust, hard-tackling defensive midfielders who will offer Villa none of the flair McCleish wants to see under his tenure.

Jim Johnstone

SCDA Youth Final (One Act Play) won by Scrap Happy Theatre Company

2011-06-23T11:04:00.000+01:00

The Howden Park Centre in Livingston set the scene last Saturday night as the Blairgowrie Drama group picked up first prize after creating and acting out a passionate take on a prison waiting room.

The event was competed by four regional teams who had gone through multiple rounds to reach the finals, which was adjudicated quite strictly by Tony Rushforth.

Scrap Happy represented the Northern Region and created their own drama act.

The scene consisted of six different tables which sat 6 different prisoners, across from those who were visiting. Each had their own story to tell ranging from disappointed parents to stormy relationships and each had prison guards watching over their shoulders. Movement was created by the use of a snack area which stood at upstage centre, giving characters a reason to travel around the stage, rather than creating a static scene.

All actors competing had to be between the age of 5 -18, Snap Happy took full advantage of this with actors hitting both sides of this scale and still keeping a very professional attitude to their play, a play which hit home at the problems prison can cause in a relationship with family friends and loved ones.

As well as acting skills, the group incorporated singing into their act, taking famous songs and altering them to fit into the play, another impressive part about writing their own material.

Singing was a big part of the Eastern Region’s act by Monument PAS, who took an act from John McGraths musical drama 'The Cheviot, the Stag, and the Black Black Oil'. This play outlines the economic changes in Scotland and was well edited by the group to include all important parts, from highland clearances to the oil boom, while still making sure the audience understood what was going on.

Another music related entrance was the Western Region’s entrance, Stranraer Drama group. performing 'Greek Idol' written by Emma Akiens. A much more humorous act with a play on Zeus and other Greek gods involved in a competition similar to the television programme 'Pop Idol'. The contest was set up to stop Zeus from boredom and did its job of keeping the audience out of it too. Some very droll performances, lines and song choices kept the audience sitting up and focused as well as impressive singing from all involved.

The final entrance was from the Highland group Dingwall Academy who gave a rendition of 'The Crimson Coconut' by Ian Hay. Set in a Soho restaurant, an amusing script turns an innocent lazy scene into one of panic with the introduction of some Russians and a bomb. This, however, was the only act that did not accommodate singing into their scene, which may have affected how it was judged, though it was still impressive with what they pulled off with their low cast numbers.

After all acts were shown, Tony Rushforth came onto the stage with his pile of notes and spent 45 minutes partially ripping each the performances apart and adding in compliments here and there, giving his expert and academic opinion and decision. Strangely enough, the most criticised play was that acted out by Scrap Happy, however it was the Perthshire group that Provost Tom Kerr handed over the winner's trophy too. Overall, a fine night of skilful and impressive drama from a lot of promising youths.

Simon Kermack

@KermackS

Track Review: CSS - "Hits Me Like A Rock"

2011-06-22T23:17:00.000+01:00

CSS' new album 'La Liberación' is released on August 22. We take a look at the band's new single, 'Hits Me Like A Rock'.

After a few years of soaking up the sun in hometown São Paulo, CSS are back with a great summery single to introduce their new album.

While the band have maintained their upbeat and synthy sounds, there's an influence that hasn't really been heard before in CSS' music - reggae.

(There's also another musical influence not heard before in the form of guest vocals from Primal Scream's Bobby Gillespie.)

'Hits Me Like A Rock' mixes the band's tropical pop with some great disco synths. They've also managed to keep it simple but punchy, perfect for getting stuck in your head all day. And with a song like this, it's definitely not a bad thing - especially if you're struggling to cope with the Scottish "summer".

You can stream the single using the widget on the right and, if you use it to sign up to the CSS email newsletter, you can receive a free download of the track.

'Hits Me Like A Rock' is released on August 15, with the album, 'La Liberación', launching a week later.

Flickheads: Green Lantern

2011-06-19T17:48:00.000+01:00

The Blurst Times' Kieran Beattie and the Flickheads team review Green Lantern.

You can "like" the Flickheads podcast on Facebook below.

Password Protected: Making your online details more secure

2011-06-19T16:14:00.001+01:00

It's all over the news; hackers breaking into websites and stealing people's personal details. However, there are some steps you can take to make your passwords more secure.

Never use the same password twice
It's pretty much the first rule of passwords, but almost everyone does it. The problem with doing this is that, if one website goes down and your password is stolen, it could be the same for all of your online accounts. While there's still the risk of someone obtaining your password - as there always is, sadly - this will at least soften the blow, only allowing them access to one account, rather than all of them.

Create a strong password for each website you visit
While you're making sure to use a different password each time, it can get a bit tricky to remember all of these passwords. The best solution I have found for this is a unique password generator you can take with you wherever you go. Writing for Labnol, Andres Torrubia had the idea of a table you can take with you to easily generate new passwords, and remember what your current passwords are. It's very handy, and you can find out more about it here.

Change your passwords every few months
Maybe not for every site, but definitely for the most important ones. If someone discovers your password for a website, they might sit on it for a while before using it. But if you've changed your password since then, you'll be fine! Of course, if you're aware of someone unauthorised access to one of your accounts, you should change your password immediately.

Never email your password to someone
While there's the issue of not sharing your passwords with anyone anyway, emailing information like this can cause other problems. If the recipient's email account has been compromised, you could be sending your personal information to anyone in the world.

Be suspicious
If you're using someone else's computer that's cluttered with old programs and pop-up ads, it's probably not a good idea to type your password on it, especially if you're checking online shopping or banking websites. Computers like this could have a keylogger installed - something hackers use that records every key that's pressed on your keyboard, finding out your password in the process. If you're unsure, bring up the online keyboard and "type" in your information that way.

Scan for viruses and update your programs
Finally, and this is a tip for anyone who uses a computer, not just those concerned about passwords. Scan your computer regularly for viruses - sometimes pop-up ads can appear on sites and attempt to install malicious software without your knowledge.
Another thing to be aware of is software updates. I often see people have an Adobe Flash player update appear and they just close it, to do it later. These are usually fixing important security bugs, patching holes where viruses could enter. Whenever you get an update, install it immediately.

Close old accounts you don't use
Everyone does it. Signing up for an account to this website and that, then never giving it a second look. Just by Googling usernames you use, you can find profiles on old websites you've possibly never seen in years. If you don't need this website storing your information any longer, just close the account and you'll have one less website to worry about being compromised.

Don't panic
Yes, there are a lot of steps here, but most of them should be common sense. You shouldn't panic or worry over things like this happening. Just make sure to make unique passwords and try your best to protect them.

Ask Blurst #4

2011-06-17T11:12:00.007+01:00

Laura Young answers some readers' questions in Ask Blurst.

Hi Blurst,
My problem is that I'm really shy around this boy I like. He's handsome and funny and really talented, and I'm not much of anything. Is there anything I can do to get him to notice me?

Blurst says:
First off, none of this "I'm not much of anything" business. You can't expect anyone else to love you if you don't love yourself first. Identify things that make you unique and accentuate them - it can be quite hard to do this yourself so ask your friends and then go from there. Just be yourself and act confident. What things is he into? You could see if you have any common interests, for example a certain type of music, a sport etc. Find out where he hangs out at weekends and casually bump into him, he'll soon notice you!

Hi Blurst,
Hi Blurst, I'm a widower and I've just started dating again for the first time in 3 years. I loved my wife dearly, and it feels disrespectful to her memory that I'm trying to move on. At the same time, I want to be happy. What's the right thing to do?

Blurst says:
Sorry for your loss. Nobody will doubt that you loved your wife and it's only natural that you should move on. I'm sure your wife would want you to be happy and it's not like you'll ever forget her. Only you can decide what to do but if you like this woman then I think you should go for it. No one would hold it against you.

Hi Blurst,
My father is an alcoholic. We've tried sending him to rehab multiple times, but each time he just gives up. At the rate he's going he's going to drink himself to death. Is there anything I can do to make him stop?

Blurst says:
The only thing you can really do is talk to him. It's incredibly hard to help people with problems with drink and drugs unless they also want to help themselves. Alcoholism can often be linked with mental health conditions such as depression or a traumatic event in the individual's life so looking into counselling could be an option.

Hi Blurst,
My boyfriend and I have been dating for three years now and I recently found out that he cheated on me in the first year we were dating. I love him, but I can't get over the fact that he betrayed me. What should I do?

Blurst says:
If you can honestly say you can trust him then try talking to him, find out why he did it. Some relationships can survive infidelity. However, if you don't trust him then you have two options. Your boyfriend would have to somehow earn your trust back or you end it. Without trust there's no point having a relationship with someone because it will drive you mad. Either way you have to communicate with your boyfriend and let him know how you feel.

Laura Young

If you have a question you would like answered, please ask us anonymously on our Formspring page.

Are Nintendo taking the gimmick?

2011-06-08T00:42:00.004+01:00

Back in 2006 - yes, it really was five years ago, how time flies - Nintendo took the gaming industry by the scruff of the neck and screamed "change is here!" into its whimpering face.

Image: Austin White

The Wii, commonly noted as the runt of its console generation thanks to its wallet-friendly price and corresponding graphical inadequacies, entered the world to a mass media hysteria. The BBC said it "promis[ed] to change the way games are played forever" - and with the early codename "Revolution", it was a pretty good guess the developers were probably thinking the same thing.

Image: Josh Berglund

The release came at the end of the year - no prizes for guessing which holiday bandwagon they were piling on there - and the best part of 2007 saw living rooms across the country filled with families smacking virtual tennis balls at television sets. And it wasn't just a few - in just five months, Nintendo had "smashed targets" by selling a massive 438,000 Wiis in just five months.

The one defining feature in the Wii's belt that no other console had was plain to see: movement. The very concept of moving an object in real life and the game reacting to that, while not completely new, certainly caught on. In years to come, the Xbox and Playstation teams would come up with Kinect and Move respectively, systems that had more than a subtle likeness to the WiiMote and the style of play it had popularised.

While Sony had (infamously) stolen the limelight in the buildup to this year's E3 by generally having terrible security, Nintendo had their heads down at work on Project Cafe. Initial intel seemed to suggest that Cafe was moving away from the motion side of things - and, surprisingly, there were suggestions the processor would be better than that of even their next-gen rivals.

The actual thing was announced at the company's conference on the first day of E3. And first impressions are good. Very good.

The Wii U (a bizarre name indeed, but bear with me) looks like something Apple might release. Even the actual "hub", which does away with the upstanding, glowing-blue older versions in favour of a sleek and discreet rounded box. It looks almost like the cousin of the Mac Mini, the tiny desktop computer released the year before the Wii.

But it's not the casing that's great. It's the controller that really captures your imagination. While the Wii had a single-handed remote-control, the Wii U uses something much more... avant-garde.

The controller in question looks almost like the lovechild of a Dreamcast controller and an iPod Touch. The rectangular (yes, rectangular) pad has two analogue sticks, a directional pad, an A, B, X, Y pad, as well as two shoulder keys and two triggers. But the most dominant item is the massive, 15.7cm (6.2in) touchscreen smack in the middle.

And if that wasn't enough, it even retains the motion sensitivity of the original Wiimote and (deep breaths) incorporates the gyro introduced on the company's new 3DS.

Quite how the kit could be used in a proper game is quite another matter; The Guardian's Steve Boxer had a go of a few of the games, and found them to be, predictably, difficult to get to grips with. But, while Wii U's control system is, uh, certainly unique, combine that with a processor more powerful than its rivals - yes, more powerful - and you get a stunning experience all-round.

We'll have to wait a bit before it's released, but we can be pretty certain the gimmicks are going to spread far further than virtual tennis.

Joe Sutherland
@foxhuntingx

Scottish Power gas and electricity prices to increase

2011-06-07T16:59:00.007+01:00

The price of gas is set to rise by 19% and electricity 10%, with the average Scottish Power dual fuel bill rising by £180, affecting roughly 1.7 million people in the UK.
Customers of the utility company will be told of the price hitch by June 11 so that time is given for them to know that they will be being charged more in the future, or even to swap their energy provider.

Scottish Power have attributed the price increase to the worldwide increase in the price of gas, which isn’t unlikely, due an increase in recent times of natural disasters around the globe. They also have claimed to have tried to save their customers from this inevitable price increase.

"We understand times are difficult for many people, and we have done what we can to absorb these additional costs for as long as possible to minimise the impact on our customers," a Scottish Power statement read.

But the 700,000 customers on fixed price deals will not have to pay the increase, with many being encouraged to switch to to this type of package to save money in the future. And although Scottish Power are set to rise their prices again, the company have also launched a new range of products, which they claim are the cheapest in the marketplace.

The last price increase was in November, with gas going up 2% and electricity by 9%.

Simon Kermack
@KermackS

Doctor Who plot: 16 years in the making

2011-06-07T15:41:00.007+01:00

Doctor Who fans may have been surprised by last episode's mid-series revelations, but they are likely to be even more stunned to find out how long part of the story has been planned for.

Not only does the episode 'A Good Man Goes To War' reveal River Song's true identity , but it also explained the supposed meaning of the word 'Doctor'.

Last episode, viewers watched River Song as she told the Doctor that the word Doctor came from him. She said that humans started using the word Doctor in reference to him, because he acts as a wise man and a healer during his travels across the stars. She also told him that Doctor means "mighty warrior," in places he has been less friendly in.

Back in 1995 a well known fan of the series posted a theory about the Doctor's name on a Doctor Who newsgroup that strangely resembles what we heard in last Saturday's episode. The comment read: "Here's a particularly stupid theory. If we take "The Doctor" to be the Doctor's name - even if it is in the form of a title no doubt meaning something deep and Gallifreyan - perhaps our earthly use of the word "doctor" meaning healer or wise man is direct result of the Doctor's multiple interventions in our history as a healer and wise man. In other words, we got it from him. This is a very silly idea and I'm consequently rather proud of it."

And the man who wrote that interesting post was none other than Steven Moffat – the current head writer of the series, who came up with the theory 16 years ago when he was a fan of Doctor Who, rather than a writer.

This post prompted another user, Pat Wigfull to reply: "Good stuff... I really like it... If only the Doctor Who writers could be so imaginative..."

Doctor Who returns this September with the episode Let's Kill Hitler.

Scott Holland

Must-see TV: Veronica Mars

2011-06-02T13:17:00.001+01:00

James Wyllie takes a look at some of the TV shows you should definitely catch up with over the summer.
There was a time when Veronica Mars was on E4 three or four times a day. To be honest, this was a very good thing, but sandwiched between repeats of shows like One Tree Hill and Gilmore Girls, it was sort of overlooked - branded a teen high-school drama - and everyone switched off.

But as anyone who's seen the show will tell you, Veronica Mars is much, much more than that. What followed the outstanding pilot episode was a fantastic mystery show - a mix of some high school drama, dark storylines and some film-noir touches.

The series follows Veronica Mars, a high-school student by day and a private investigator by night, working at her father's private detective agency. (While this sounds like the sort of sugary plotline you'd see in Hannah Montana or Wonder Woman, it couldn't be further from it.) Each season begins with the introduction of a season-long plotline, and most episodes will follow Veronica solving an individual case, while investigating a larger case. The series' procedural elements are one of the things that make it the most addictive. You know that, by tuning in, you'll not only get a complete story in those 45 minutes, but you'll also see some great twists as the longer, more important mysteries are explored.

By following this structure, the pacing and structure of Veronica Mars' first season was exceptional. It began with quite possibly the best pilot episode of a series I've ever seen, introducing two season-long storylines, all of the main characters, and dealing with its own mystery-of-the-week. (And yes, I'm including Lost in this 'best pilot' category - while it was also amazing, the way Veronica Mars' pilot set up every episode after is outstanding.)

The only downside to the entire show is its third season where, apparently, some network intervention meant that a season-long plot arc wasn't good for attracting new viewers throughout the season's run, but the two shorter plot arcs created instead were just as engaging. The only other aspect is the coupling of some characters - again, insisted upon by the network as, even though the producers disliked it, the fans loved them.

With three seasons full of incredible characters, engaging plotlines and some great twists as Veronica finds new evidence into the larger story arcs, Veronica Mars never gets boring.

Sadly, the only way to view this show is to hope E4 start showing it again or to download from iTunes. We're all still waiting for the DVDs to be released in the UK, but if you're really desperate, you can buy whole-series Region 2 boxsets from Amazon France or Germany.

The Scheme: Scotland's 'poverty porn'

2011-05-29T22:53:00.006+01:00

Buckfast, brawls and Bullet the dog?

If you don’t have a clue what I’m talking about, then you obviously haven’t been watching BBC Scotland’s The Scheme.

The Scheme is a documentary centred life on the Onthank Housing Scheme and Londpark area in Kilmarnock – a notoriously ‘difficult’ part of the town.

The Onthank estate appears neglected, with many run down and un kept houses, boarded up windows and bucket loads of chavs.

The show features residents from many different and difficult lifestyles including a young man facing a drug addiction and the Cunningham family who are struggling to keep their children on the ‘straight and narrow’.

Bullet (left) & Marvin (right)

Scheme resident Marvin and his girlfriend Dayna are popular with the Scottish audience with many Facebook ‘appreciation’ groups set up in dedication. As well as Marvin and Dayna, Marvin’s dog Bullet proved a hit with the viewers.

Another popular character is Kaye, a mum of two who helps unruly teenagers by bringing them into her house while taking care of her two daughters.

However, Kaye’s involvement with her eldest daughter’s friends soon lands hers in trouble, as she admits to the cameras that she’s lied to the police, and in a separate incident on the show, she is arrested.
More worryingly is the producer’s decision to include a heroin addict injecting himself on camera, shaking as he attempts to heat up the substance on his metal spoon.

The show is indeed a culture shock for many viewers that tune in. The Scheme was first broadcast to Scottish audiences but is now streamed across the UK.

The show even reached Scottish government, where MSP Willie Coffey blasted producers for the bad portrayal of the Onthank Estate, where he grew up. He stated that they had made “cheap and easy television”.

The Cree Family

He continued: “How dare they waltz into our community on the pretext of making a community film, yet leave us angry and damaged by their work? How sleekit can you get?"

It's easy and cheap TV to pick those with serious addictions and chaotic lifestyles and offer them up for public entertainment.”

Mr Coffey’s views are shared by a large proportion of the public as well. It’s clear that the show has indeed enraged debate on when television goes too far.

And it’s no secret to those in media that you have to find a hard hitting story to establish yourself. But does picking out the bad parts of a poverty and drug torn housing estate really constitute entertainment?

In modern society the answer is – Yes.

And so anyone living in a housing estate better beware, there may be a BBC camera crew moving in very shortly!

@GraemeAitken

Jim's super-injunctioned Champions League preview

2011-05-28T11:00:00.008+01:00

A Premier League manager has obtained a super injunction which prevents the media, Twitter-users, people on the street, and even those exiled to Bebo, from naming his team ahead of “a significant upcoming fixture”.

The manager was cited in papers as “Xtra”; whether this is in relation to his ability to squeeze a few more stoppage time minutes out of the referee or for the gum he chews excessively during matches is not known.

The injunction was granted in the High Court in London on the grounds that it is not in the public interest to know what these men, believed to be Premier League footballers, do in a park during the weekend, and as such was an unnecessary breach of their privacy.

However, here at Blurst, we want to go to jail for up to two years. We want to feel the soapy embrace of a prison romance.

As such, we can exclusively reveal, using the names cited in court papers, who will play in the upcoming fixture of much significance.

(It should be noted that 'FPTP' won the battle against 'AV' to play at right-back- although they are definitely NOT twin brothers.)

This is how they'll (probably) line-up:

KEY BATTLES

As with most 'significant upcoming fixtures' of Football, we obviously have to preview the key battles that seem likely to affect the outcome of the match. Even if we have to use their pseudonyms. This'll have to do.

Xavi/Iniesta/Busquet Vs VHS

VHS has been around forever, and has a bit of a seedy past (and present, allegedly). And at this age, you’d expect him to be obsolete. But as far as this pundit is concerned, everyone still has videos. ‘Xtra’ just has the best one, you know, the one your brother had and wouldn’t let you watch, probably because it was actually called “She-Man and the Masturbaters of the Universe’.

Anyway, this guy, whoever he is, has his work cut out for him against the architects of destruction in Barca's midfield.

Messi vs ‘WWF’

We can all guess who ‘WWF’ is, and if his partner ‘#hashtag’ can stop tweeting James Corden for 90 minutes, then the wee wizard might have his work cut out for him. It's all well and good being considered one of the best Footballers ever at the tender age of 23. But, apparently ‘WWF’ is a six-time former World Heavyweight champion, and once Chokeslammed an opponent off a steel cage during a match. Probably.

Valdes Vs Boredom

With Barcelona’s possession averaging around 70% per game in the Champions League, Valdes will have to make sure he has one of those bookmarks that clips onto the page, just in case ‘STD’ or ‘p’ manage to get the ball and shoot and he has to drop his book in a hurry. Not that they might, because they may or not be forwards.

So who will win?

One of the teams. Probably. Unless Jose Mourinho has one more outrageous plan up his sleeve.
My prediction is that one of these two teams will definitely win it. Definitely.

Jim Johnstone

Mini Mix with SDA: Damage Tape

2011-05-27T16:37:00.001+01:00

To celebrate the upcoming launch of SDA's secret project, Unintentional Swag, we've got an exclusive SDA mixtape for you!
Even though details about Unintentional Swag are sketchy (see their Posterous for details... sort of), we do know that this collection of 5 mini mash-ups is pretty great.

We've linked the second of the five tracks, a mash-up of Daniel Bedingfield and Dizzee Rascal that works surprisingly well, but if you want the others, you'll have to click here to download the whole collection.

If you're still unsure, have a listen using the player on the right, and take a look at the tracklisting below.

1. The Killers v Passion Pit
2. Daniel Bedingfield v Dizzee Rascal
3. Bloc Party v Boys Noize
4. Ron Brownz v Justice
5. Kanye West v The Strokes

If you're curious about Unintentional Swag, you can also follow @unintentionalswag for more info (it's also slightly less cryptic than the mysterious Posterous)!

As always, if you like the mixes please be sure to check out the artists' other material. We are using these tracks for promotional purposes only and to encourage you to listen to these artists. If you are unhappy or have any concerns, please leave a comment or drop us an email and we'll make sure to resolve any concerns you may have.
Artwork for 'Damage Tape' from Flickr user kevandotorg.

Skype "Appearing Offline" For Many Users

2011-05-26T13:18:00.008+01:00

An unknown bug has caused a major outage for Skype, with many users unable to use the Skype desktop client or access the company's website.

The outage began at approximately 12.45pm, affecting Skype clients on all operating systems. However, those using Skype's IM and VoIP functions on mobile devices are currently unaffected.

Many appear to be blaming Microsoft for the error, who recently bought Skype for $8.5bn (£5.2bn), suggesting that there may be an incompatibility issue between the two companies' networks.

Skype have acknowledged the problem, sending the following message to its followers on Twitter:

Some of you may have problems signing in to Skype and making calls. We’re investigating and hope to have more details to share soon.
less than a minute ago via Skype. CoTweet Favorite Retweet Reply

Update: Skype have announced on Twitter that they have identified the problem and will be "rolling out a fix soon."

Skype have also released some instructions to manually fix your desktop client, while they work on a fix. You can click here to read them on Skype's website.

Update 2: Skype have released download links for updated and fixed Skype clients. Click here to view the announcement.

Flickheads: Episode 5 - "Pirates 4: On Stranger Tides"

2011-05-22T14:25:00.002+01:00

Kieran Beattie and his panel of Flickheads review Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.

Flickheads#5-Pirates of the Caribbean:On Stranger Tides by Kieran Beattie

Flickheads: Episode 4 - "Attack the Block"

2011-05-18T23:15:00.001+01:00

The Blurst Times' Kieran Beattie and his panel review Attack the Block in this Film Review Podcast.

Note: This podcast contains some strong language.

Flickheads: Episode 3 - "Hanna"

2011-05-12T00:59:00.000+01:00

The Blurst Times' Kieran Beattie and his panel review Hanna in the 3rd episode of this Film Review Podcast.

Think "Film 2011" but without Claudia Winkleman/OfCom.

Flickheads#3- Hanna by Kieran Beattie

Shoestring Fashion

2011-05-07T23:09:00.000+01:00

From wedding dresses to knickers, it seems that these days it all has to be “on trend”. But where does that leave us? Skint and lusting after things we can’t afford.

A “budget” pair of sunglasses to fight the fierce Scottish glare could set you back more than £60 and some of them look like they were lifted from Dame Edna herself, hardly the epitome of high class fashion.

This season’s bold leap into brights has neutral shades from only a few months ago cowering in terror. Keeping up with the Joneses is no easy task and has wallets emptying faster than most of us can fill them but is it worth it? At the moment some see through lace panelling strung together to look three sizes too big and with a gazillion percent mark up on cost price is a “must have buy”, but in four months time it’ll be flung to the back of the wardrobe and become nothing more than a fond over-priced memory.

There should only be one item in a woman’s wardrobe that has cost more than it was ever worth and that’s her wedding dress, but unless you’re on your way to say “I do”, cheap yet alarmingly cheerful is the only way to avoid being out-dated, out-done and out-of-cash. Here’s two ways to do it.

The high-street is the first port of call on any shoppers hit list and even although Vivienne Westwood will be found lurking in some exclusive, secluded side-street she should only be consulted on the occasion of some disgusting influx of funds.

Primark is the old fail safe and is not without its hidden gems but pricier retailers such as Topshop and River Island are quite partial to a mid-season sale, so it’s fashionable and cheap! Result! Charity shops are a tool never to be discarded. You can find vintage looks straight from an old lady's closet and hardly ever worn or never worn new clothes in every single one of these. They’re always fun for a rummage and the best thing is... no-one else will be wearing it!

The second tip I feel I should share is online shopping. Yes it lacks the excitement and buzz of the shopping centre but the bargains make up for it. Boohoo.com and Asos.com exclusively bring their bargain basement prices to the online community and most high-street shops have online shopping options too. It’s always good to look out for discount codes and free delivery options that mean sometimes it’s cheaper to have a cup of tea and stay out of the rain when you bag the PERFECT dress for next weekend.

Lisa Fyfe

Five Songs You Must Hear This Week

2011-05-07T21:31:00.003+01:00

Why hello there, Blurst readers. Long time, no music recommendations! Well, let us correct this frankly worrying trend, shall we? We've scoured the webs for these handfuls of gold dust, just for you...

1. Washed Out - "Eyes Be Closed"

Listen, I know what you're thinking. I thought the same thing. More chillwave? Didn't we get over that, y'know, last year? The answer is yes, but it's promising to make a resurgence this year. Washed Out have used a pretty, ethereal synth loop and expertly laid it over with some delectably mellow vocals and a drum track to die for. It's even been made (at the cost of a mailing list subscription) available for absolutely nothing.

2. Fleet Foxes - "Helplessness Blues"

Ahh, Fleet Foxes. Capturing folk enthusiasts' hearts around the globe with early Sub Pop single "Mykonos" and its accompanying origami-centric video; going on to compound that interest critically with their eponymous debut was certainly an achievement. So it's weird, in a way, that their "difficult" second album Helplessness Blues is every bit as good as the first. The lead track, too, is just great in every way. Nice new "rock" sounds from these guys.

3. Sleepingdog - "It Leaves Us Silent"

Sleepingdog, I admit, you will most likely have never heard of. With a lowly 40,000 plays on last.fm, Californian Chantal Acda's unique "alternative classical" style has flown right over the heads of most. It's a great shame, since all three of her releases have been works of art, both captivating and enthralling throughout. Picking just one song from her third, the obnoxiously titled With Our Heads in the Clouds and Our Hearts in the Fields, is a mammoth task in itself; I've chosen this, but all eight together make up a refined polyptych I'd heartily recommend.

4. The Wombats - "1996"

No, it's not a single, and it likely will never be a single, but "1996" just has this album-track vibe that I can't place. Maybe it's the lyrics (We kiss with one eye on our TV sets/And the more I give the less I get). Or maybe it's the seriously haunting melody laid down underneath the song. Or maybe it's just that it's such a bizarre thing to put in a song, let alone base one around. Only they'll know.

5. Vermillion Club - "Odd"

I'm a sucker for good indie-pop. It's a genre few dare to venture in; it's not mainstream enough to be commercially successful, and yet it's not 'cool' enough to be lauded critically. It's the Switzerland of genres, then. Yet Vermillion Club - the side project of two Binghamton University, New York students who happen to be bloody good at writing music - boldly grabbed it by the hair and yelled profanities into its ear. And for that and that alone, they deserve plaudits. Their album may or may not be free on their Bandcamp if you want to have a wee peek.

Joe Sutherland
@foxhuntingx

Track Review: Friendly Fires - "Blue Cassette"

2011-05-07T21:08:00.002+01:00

Friendly Fires' new album, "Pala", is released in the UK on May 16. Three Blurst writers take a look at their new single: "Blue Cassette".

While it’s certainly not as catchy as some of Friendly Fires’ other music, “Blue Cassette” isn’t too bad. I do like the drumming in the chorus and the tape machine sound effects are a nice touch. But there’s nothing in the track that makes me want to go back and listen again. Hopefully the band have some better songs on their new album to release as singles. 6/10

James Wyllie

A parasitic drone floods through the background of “Blue Cassette”, and on top of the familiar drum samples lie lazy synths, harmonic autotunes and... have we been here before? As tuneful as the structure may be, the only thing truly saving it from the ‘mediocre’ pigeonhole are three Brobdingnagian drops into the choruses. For the most part, unfortunately, it’s utterly homogeneous. 6/10
Joe Sutherland

While “Blue Cassette” may be very like a lot of other music on the go, it’s catchy and summery. It puts you in a good mood and makes you want to sing along with its upbeat chorus. As the first offering from the album it sets a positive note for the forthcoming release. An easy listening track for lazy summer days. 7/10
Lisa Fyfe

Overall grade: 6/10

Must-See TV: Community

2011-05-07T18:00:00.000+01:00

James Wyllie takes a look at some of the television shows you should definitely catch up with over the summer.

Hidden away on Viva, between episodes of Jersey Shore and 16 & Pregnant (or if it's Christmas, endless repeats of Spiceworld), is Community. In fact, it's so hidden that Viva don't even list it on their website. But if you do a little digging to find the show, the effort you'll have put in is greatly outweighed by the quality of the show.

Community is a comedy following a group of students at Greendale Community College - quite possibly one of the weirdest educational institutes in the world. Not many shows could pull off an episode made to look like a Goodfellas-style mobster film, or an episode where everyone is in claymation, but for some reason, these episodes of the show feel just as real and normal as the others. Those are only a few of the absolutely crazy, yet completely wonderful risks this show takes, I don't want to tell you all of the weird tricks Community has up its sleeves so that I don't ruin all of the surprises, but there are plenty.

The show's characters are - just like the themes of some episodes - a real mixed bag. Coming from shows like 30 Rock, Mad Men and The Soup, the actors' varied backgrounds really help to show just how different these characters are, but how easily they are able to all come together. And I know what you're thinking, but Community is one of the few shows that manages to have sentimental moments without being awfully soppy.

Whether it's through the always-hilarious storylines, the brilliant characters, or just the endless pop-culture references, every episode of Community is fantastic and it is definitely a show worth a look.

Community is shown occasionally on Viva (Sometimes. I think.) and episodes can also be downloaded from iTunes. If you're still not convinced, there's an, admittedly pretty cheesy, trailer for the series below. I should also point out that the trailer definitely does not do the show justice.

Science Shout: The Real Sharktopus?

2011-05-06T16:31:00.004+01:00

It’s not a rubbish movie, but fossil evidence has recently been found that would suggest two sea monsters in a fight to the death.

The fossil, recovered in Australia, is a skull that shows prominent bite marks thought to be inflicted by a member of its own species.

"It was a really aggressive encounter" and featured a marine battle tactic not unfamiliar today, said paleontologist Benjamin Kear.

The skull itself belonged to an Ichthyosaur, a dolphin-like reptile that swam in the seas around 120 million years ago and could grow up to 20 feet long.

This skull is thought to be able to provide researchers with a rare glimpse into pre-historic animal behaviour.

Modern marine animals tend to concentrate bites on the face, where all the dangerous hardware is at", said Kear, who works at Sweden's Uppsala University and studied the Ichthyosaur fossil with student Maria Zammit.

However the Ichthyosaur who owned the skull is thought to have survived the fight that gave it the scars.

Science Shout: Forcing Forgetfulness

2011-04-29T17:54:00.003+01:00

Some scientists over at the University of California have told the world that they are on the verge of a treatment to erase memories.

David Glanzman, the lead researcher, said: “I think we will be able to alter memories someday to reduce the trauma from our brains. Not in the immediate future, but I think we will be able to go into one's brain, identify the location of the memory of a traumatic experience and try to dampen it down.

“We can do this in culture, and there is no essential difference between the synapse in culture and the synapse in your brain.”

It has been claimed that this treatment is specifically for those dealing with trauma or drug addiction.

The treatment is currently being tested on snails and is done by targeting individual neurons where memories are stored.

The full study of this treatment has been published in the Journal of Neuroscience.

Gig Review: The Anti-Nowhere League

2011-04-29T16:01:00.003+01:00

Rebecca Kendle tells us that "punk is not dead" after seeing The Anti-Nowhere League in Glasgow in March.

Punk is not dead.
Let me assure you.

Despite the overbearing influx of mechanic, overly manufactured and tired chart music – let’s not name any names, shall we - the spirit of punk lives on.

It seems then that The Anti-Nowhere League are the perfect ambassadors, bringing with them all the liveliness spontaneity and energy of original punk – remembering that these are one hundred per cent vintage rockers.

With my friend, hereby referred to as the “anonymous whale... who enjoys the occasional punk gig”, in tow I attended their recent gig in Glasgow. And what can I say? It was an absolute riot.

It really was. As the anonymous whale and I were waiting for the first support band – who were surprisingly good – she was outed as not being a punk: “You’re not a punk, are you?” “No, but I can still enjoy it.” This seemed to satisfy, as did my (drunken) conversation about old grunge, the joys of riot grrl (look it up!) and the notorious cubicle four in The Moorings, Aberdeen. At least that’s what I like to think.

Admittedly it didn’t take me too long to get up on the mosh pit and mosh my heart out – chances are it looked like I was having a fit – to the support bands, who were surprisingly good, a rare occurrence as all gig veterans know. No offence to support bands, of course.

All of this was punctuated by smoking breaks – not that I advocate it – allowing the anonymous whale and I to meet even more punk pals.

It seems the best trick to befriend a punk really is to both shock them with your own outrageous antics – I’ve perfected this to an art – and to prostrate yourself for not being a “true punk”, as illustrated below.

"I may have not been born in the punk generation but that doesn't mean I don't feel punk in my soul. I can still appreciate the music. Does this offend you? I may not be a true punk like you, but I feel I can still relate to the music in the way same way as you sir. Can we get a picture together?"

How to apologise to a veteran punk.

Once you have apologised you can then move on to becoming best buds with them, just look at me and my lovely new friends – I think my best friend is the one with the mini cheddars and the carton of semi-skimmed milk, for those very reasons.

My new best friends, note the milk.

It didn’t seem long until The Anti-Nowhere League graced us with their presence - that may be partly due to the copious amounts of Budweiser consumed - cue the anonymous whale and I bagging front and centre positions. And these certainly were the best, after all who wouldn’t want to be so close to the timeless rage and aggression of The Anti-Nowhere League. Despite the years, time doesn’t seem to have taken its toll, but rather preserved them and kept the energy as fresh as it was yesteryear.

It’s bizarre, standing listening to the revolutionary voices of a generation that now inhabit our offices and feeling as riotous as they once did. Yet it seems the only thing to do at such times really is to dance like there’s no tomorrow. And I did.

What else is there to really say? Oh yes -

Long live punk.

The Royal Wedding

2011-04-24T14:33:00.001+01:00

William and Catherine (KATE)

William & Catherine

Britain and the Commonwealth have had a long standing connection to Royal Families. But what is it that makes a Royal Wedding so appealing to the British public?

The British monarchs are no strangers to Royal Weddings; in fact Henry the eighth had 6 of them. With three of them named Catherine.

In today’s Britain, The royal wedding for many is simply an extra day off work. It is true that our Royals play a much lesser role in our society than before, However, they do still contribute greatly.

For example, the wedding will mean the coming together of many heads of states, Monarchs and noble people. Confirmed guests include Queen of Spain, The Prime Minister of Australia, Elton John and The Beckhams.

The wedding will also generate millions of pounds in revenue for hundreds of British retailers. The Lord Chamberlain's Office has relaxed rules on the use of the royal emblems to make it easier for companies to produce memorabilia. (A full copy of the rules can be found here)

The Royals also bring in around $7.5billion in tourism each year according to Visit Britain.

W&C?

However, the Royal household have gone a bit media mad in the last few months. Pushy PR Staff have embarked on changing the attitude towards Kate and Wills, with some very dodgy guidelines for journalists. For example, Kate is now known as Catherine and their names should never be abbreviated to W/C in case anyone should ever think you are writing about a Water Closet.?

Apart from that, The Royal household have really pushed their way into the 21st century. On the day, The Royals will be tweeting and using Facebook. And the public can watch the entire event on the Royal YouTube Channel. There are also several apps available for Smartphones where you can record your own personal messages for the newlyweds.

It is certain that the appeal for this Royal Wedding has come from how relaxed and inviting the Royal household has been about the whole thing. And anyway, It’s definitely shaping up to be a wedding fit for a King :P

Graeme Aitken
@GraemeAitken

BiWinning

2011-04-18T23:05:00.001+01:00

Yeah. If you haven’t heard of Charlie Sheen’s descent by now then I suggest you get up from under your rock and get online pronto. I’m also going to assume that you also haven’t heard of his musical “debut”.

“Musical debut?” you ask. I mean what do you expect from a “total frigging rock star from Mars”? I for one expect no less. I mean, he’s got “tiger blood”.

This is reflected in his new song “Winning” – a collaboration between the legend and the Gregory Brothers, famed for their other

The song is, in short, “epic winning”. Despite being yet another heavily synthesised remix its rescued by Charlie Sheen’s lyrics, featuring such classics as “I was banging seven gram rocks, that’s how I roll” and “You love to party? What's not to love?”

Luckily, unlike the drug Charlie Sheen, this song is available on YouTube or you can listen in the player below.

Spotify Have New Ways of Making You Pay

2011-04-18T17:42:00.001+01:00

Music-streaming website Spotify has announced changes to the way its free accounts work.

From May 1, users without a paid subscription will be limited to 10 hours of music per month - down from 20 - and songs that have been played more than five times will be inaccessible until the user moves to the premium service.

The company have also said that everyone will be allowed sixth months of the current free service before the new restrictions are added. This means that users who created their accounts before November 1, 2010 will be switched to the new account system on May 1, while those created after will see restrictions added once their account is six months old.

This is the second set of restrictions Spotify have placed on their free users. A 20-hour limit was previously implemented for new non-paying users after record labels put pressure on Spotify over concerns that the service wasn't as profitable as expected.

Spotify's campaign to get more people to pay for the service will continue throughout the summer, where they will be offering all users a 30-day trial of the premium service alongside the currently available 7-day trial.

Mini Mix with SDA: Late Night at Sharkey's

2011-04-12T08:56:00.001+01:00

We've teamed up with SDA to bring you some exclusive mini mixes - only available to download on The Blurst Times!
Our second mix so far, Late Night at Sharkey's, is a great dubstep mix.

I'll be honest and say I don't know much about dubstep, so I gave a dubstep-loving friend an exclusive listen to the new mix:

Lisa: "this mix that james sent is amazing!!!"
James: "Soon everyone'll be able to download it on The Blurst Times!"
Lisa: "and they should definately do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Hopefully that'll persuade you to at least give it a listen and, if you like it just hit the download button - it's all free!

If you like any of the music on this mini mix, please have a look at some of the artists' other work.

Sample List:
Twilight - Distance
Stuck - Numan
Could This Be Real - Sub Focus
How Real - Skream
I Need Air - Magnetic Man
On A Mission - Katy B

Mix by:
Scott Anderson
@sda1991

Image on cover art:
AshleyCampbellPhotography on Twitter

All music featured is intended for promotional use only. We really like all of your music and wanted to share it with the world. If you aren’t happy with us including your music in this mixtape please email us and we’ll sort it out.

Blurst Blend: Nine Songs for the First Month of Spring

2011-04-06T16:14:00.013+01:00

Good afternoon, Blurst readers... It's a balmy 19'C outside (at the time of writing, this is hotter than it is in Perth, Australia!) so why not celebrate with a lovely mixed playlist?

By mixed, I mean mixed. There are, obviously, nine tracks on there, so you won't know what you're going to get. ~~In fact, it's so unpredictable that I'm not legally allowed to tell you what the song names even are!~~ (Cancel that, I've mixed them and re-hosted so that I can.) I will, however, tell you the artists...

YACHT (all caps essential, naturally) is the stage name of Jonathan "Jona" Bechtolt. He's a synthy producer from the lovely city of Portland, all the way over in Oregon, and works with Claire Evans on "Dystopia", which is a minimal dance tune about the Earth being on fire. Lovely.

Noah and the Whale have recently been all over the charts (and, therefore, most music websites and blogs) with their newest album, Last Night on Earth (see the link, yes?). So I probably don't have to tell you about the pure poppy loveliness of "L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N.".

Madeon is a French producer who came to fame last year after he won a remix competition run by otherwise awful band Pendulum. His version of "The Island" was selected to appear on some versions of the album, and is, like this one (called "Shuriken"), a great foot-tapper, full of skillful touches. Here's the kicker, though - Madeon's 16.

Elbow, after the onslaught thus far, might seem a bizarre choice for this playlist. And it probably is - ditching the heavy snares from The Seldom Seen Kid, "Jesus is a Rochdale Girl" instead opines for an almost silent tap tap tap all the way through, overlaid with a delicate acoustic guitar, bursts of soft keys, and Guy Garvey's dulcet tones. Truly a beautiful song.

tUnE-yArDs, like the spelling itself, is a weird concept - very, very lo-fi, using loops of her own voice, and very African-sounding drums. In "Gangsta", from newest album w h o k i l l, there's even the occasional saxophone (or something that sounds like it) in the midst of the fuzzy guitar and vocal noises.

Rise Against, then. Bit of a journey for me personally, considering I despise other bands in this vein - but Rise Against seem to take it in their stride, infusing some pop into their sound. To have shouting and melody in the same song, as they have done in "Prayer of the Refugee", is a feat and a half, I'll tell you.

Those Dancing Days are insane. It's true. Their vein of intense poppy madness took the internet by storm upon release of debut In Our Space Hero Suits, and the Nacka, Stockholm five-piece have followed it up with Daydreams and Nightmares. This track, "Fuckarias", is available for free on their website, and is both relentless and pounding.

Modest Mouse are a bit of an oddity in terms of what to expect from them. They're one of those bands - old fans are adamant their old stuff is better, and their newer stuff is far more musically mainstream. This does, however, mean it's far more approachable. This song, "Parting of the Sensory" is off 2007 album, We Were Dead Before the Ship Even Sank, and seems to regard humanity's callous attitude towards the environment. Nice.

Baths has, despite being twenty-one, released about four albums of material under various names - but it's his 2010 work, Cerulean, which got him circulated around the Internet and garnered him critical acclaim. This track, "Aminals", is utterly adorable, merging some soundbytes of kids at a zoo with a lucious synth melody. Sweeter than the sweetest sugar.

Full tracklist and times:
0:00 - YACHT - "Dystopia"
3:50 - Noah and the Whale - "L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N."
7:32 - Madeon - "Shuriken"
10:28 - Elbow - "Jesus is a Rochdale Girl"
13:43 - tUnE-yArDs - "Gangsta"
17:24 - Rise Against - "Prayer of the Refugee"
20:39 - Those Dancing Days - "Fuckarias"
23:33 - Modest Mouse - "Parting of the Sensory"
29:02 - Baths - "Aminals"

So... there you are. Enjoy.

Joe Sutherland
@foxhuntingx

Is Rebecca Black Worth Hating?

2011-04-02T14:36:00.006+01:00

She is an ordinary teenage girl who made her mark with her single 'Friday' which was posted on YouTube on the 10th of February 2011. She has over 76 million views but has been highly criticised and slammed for the "awful" lyrics. All the parents I have asked like this song because it is suitable for children of all ages and has no offensive words that have to be blocked out like a lot of songs nowadays.

It is a song about the decisions you have to face to make the most of your weekend before going back to school where you spend most of your time. Where is the harm in that I ask? If we have a problem with this kind of song then it is not a surprise because we are use to the kind of songs being released nowadays.

A song like this may have come as a shock to all of us because personally, never in my life would I have imagined that someone would come out and sing a song quite like this. It is her uniqueness and individuality that has turned my cards and increased my respect for her. The fact that She does not feel the need to copy anyone and produce the kind of raunchy music we are getting today proves that she is a strong 13 year old who is not afraid to take chances.

In a recent interview she had on the Tonight Show With Jay Leno, She spoke about her reaction to the critical acclaim she was getting and said that some comments "made me cry".

She mentions that she has always been interested in music for a long time and her parents have as well. She was told about Ark music factory and with the help of her Mum made contact and before she knew it she started recording her first single 'Friday'. When asked whether she picked the song she replied modestly: "They sent me a song and it was like being a guys superhero and all that but I'm thirteen so I don't know (thought the song was inappropriate). But then they sent me Friday which is about having fun with your friends and being teenagers so I liked that". She further mentions that she chose the song because she though it said decent things.

If you ask me, these are the words of a modest teenager who is not doing it for the fame and $$$. She in my view is a sensible honour student who clearly knows the difference between right and wrong and is not out there to put a bad name on her family but to do something she thinks is appropritae for her age group and those younger than her.

So is a girl with good morals and intentions worth hating?. Ok, maybe her choice of song is not something this generation is into or expecting but it is a song with a catchy beat and true words. I find myself in that situation, wondering what to do over the weekend, don't you? Overall the song is my guilty pleasure, something that will always amuse me and I must say, It looks like Rebecca Black has chosen to stick around!

Watch out for her next single 'LOL' and be a good sport and enjoy a good sense of humour from an ordinary teeanger who wouldn't hurt a fly!

World Autism Awareness Day

2011-04-02T12:59:00.003+01:00

With the ridiculous amount of Justin Beiber coverage, some of us here at “The Blurst Times” decided it was time to go back to real news. Unfortunately none could be bothered so I’m going to write about World Autism Awareness Day.

On December 28th 2007, the United Nations General Assembly declared April 2nd as World Autism Awareness Day.

The World Autism Awareness Day resolution encourages all Member States to take measures to raise awareness about autism throughout society and to encourage early diagnosis and early intervention.

It further expresses deep concern at the prevalence and high rate of autism in children in all regions of the world and the consequent developmental challenges.

UK disability service MENCAP say: “There are many different types and most develop before a baby is born, during birth or because of a serious illness in early childhood. A learning disability is lifelong and usually has a significant impact on a person’s life.

Learning disability is not mental illness or dyslexia.

People with a learning disability find it harder than others to learn, understand and communicate. People with profound and multiple learning disabilities (PMLD) need full-time help with every aspect of their lives – including eating, drinking, washing, dressing and toileting.

There are 1.5 million people with a learning disability in the UK. Like all of us, they are individuals who want different things in life and need different levels of support.”

Right across India, many buildings and landmarks will be covered in blue lights to raise awareness of Autism today.

Speaking at the inauguration of World Autism Awareness Day in 2008, the UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-Moon said: “On this day, the United Nations reaffirms its commitment to the rights and well-being of people with disabilities -- a commitment rooted in our fundamental principle of universal human rights for all. Throughout its history, the United Nations family has promoted the rights and well-being of the disabled, including children with developmental disabilities.”

Ask Blurst #3 - Bieber Special

2011-04-01T10:50:00.003+01:00

Hi Blurst,
My best friend is obsessed with Justin Bieber. She goes on about him ALL the time. I try and change the subject when we talk, but it always ends up about Justin Bieber. I don't want to lose my friend. But I just dont know what to do...

Blurst says:
Maybe take her aside and tell her tactfully that she talks about him all the time. She may not even realise how much she talks about him. As long as you're not nasty about it then she shouldn't take it the wrong way.

Hey Blurst,
I have a terrible secret. I am in love with Justin Bieber. I can't help thinking about him all the time. I'm thinking about taking a gap year from uni to go on tour with him. I think it's fate. My family disagree with me and call me immature. Help!

Blurst says:
It's perfectly natural to idolise and admire celebrities. However, you're probably better to focus on boys your own age in uni as that's more likely to work out successfully.

Laura Young

Japan follow up

2011-03-16T09:32:00.002Z

Following the earlier article, The Blurst Times now has more information about Japan to report.

The nuclear plant at Fukushima has begun spreading nuclear radiation from its reactors. Japanese Prime Minister Naoto Kan said: “Radiation has spread from the reactors and the reading seems high.” Cabinet chief Yukio Edano added: “We are talking about levels that can damage health.”

Some people are being isolated now because they are shown to be infected with radiation at harmful levels.

Over 100000 troops have been searching for survivors amid the more affected areas for the last four years, despite personal danger and sub-zero temperatures.

Police now say the death toll has reached at least 3373, with many more critically injured.

International Development Secretary Andrew Mitchell praised UK search and rescue teams in Japan, saying: “We are all proud of them. They are doing a great job under tough conditions. They are working alongside Japanese colleagues to give much-needed help and support to that country in its time of dire need.”

Another British organisation, World Vision, recently started building shelters for survivors at Fukushima.

The Olympics, Iran, and a whole lot of squinting

2011-03-14T12:49:00.003Z

The Olympics. Traditionally a time when every country - well, except the really really little ones - selects their elite athletes for a jolly fun contest in a seemingly random city of the world (even though we all know it's far from it). The city in question will inevitably be under intense pressure to perform, not only as a competing nation, but also as a venue. So you don't really want bad press the year before the big event.

It's common knowledge the reaction to the logo (that thing on the right there) has been... well, mixed is probably the word. It's pretty evenly split between "something modern and refreshing" and "a monstrosity". It certainly isn't easy to understand what the logo actually says, on the first glance, and unless the rings are instantly familiar you'd be forgiven if you thought this was just Picasso having a bit of a fit.

The logo, anyway, by London-based designers Wolff Olins, cost a massive £500,000, although looking at it it's likely the majority of that went on the coffee maid's wages. But while the British reaction to the design has been less than positive, it's never been criticised for anything more than shoddy design. Never, that is, until now.

Iran and Britain have never really been the best of friends, not since a certain Mr. Blair stormed into their mate Iraq claiming they were housing massive bombs, and that. That's not to say Iran have been leering over the UK, waiting for them to make a mistake they can exploit to make the country look like a collection of bigoted fools, but the news this month would suggest otherwise.

Iranian Olympic officials this week sent a letter of complaint to the International Olympics Committee, claiming there was a hidden, racist meaning to the logo. If you squint, like, really squint, you might just make out the word "Zion" instead of "2012". But only if you really squint. Can't see it? Well, apparently neither could Jacques Rogge, the president of the IOC. He gave them the closest thing to a chap on the wrists.

"No, it can't be serious. We will quietly reply, telling [Iran] the logo has nothing to do with racism or any political connotation."

Amazingly, just days after their claim (triggering some choice words from David Cameron) was utterly refuted, Iran suddenly changed their mind, smiling gingerly and announcing their intention to "participate gloriously" in London next year.

Just how gloriously is questionable; their best finish in an Olympic medal table is 14th back in Melbourne 1956, while overall they sit in 44th, one place above North Korea. Their 44 medals are all in either wrestling (32), weightlifting (12) or Taekwondo (4). Interestingly, they've already boycotted two Olympics: Moscow 1980, because of the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan in 1979; and Los Angeles 1984, for "political reasons" (but not the same political reasons which saw fourteen countries boycott it together.

Regardless, it's nice to know that this latest blow the UK's Olympic dream won't kill it. Now we just need to work on the venues, the ceremonies...

Joe Sutherland
@foxhuntingx

Rebecca Black: The New Robin Sparkles?

2011-03-13T12:48:00.002Z

Think of Rebecca Black like Robin Sparkles - a teenage girl making good and simple pop music. No going to the clubs and drinking or slipping in lots of innuendos, the biggest issue dealt with in 'Friday' is Rebecca deciding if she wants to sit in the front or the back of her friend's car.

And that's all you need in this song. 'Friday' isn't aimed at anyone older than about 12 or 13 years old. The biggest problems facing these young listeners are probably about the same as Rebecca's - nothing more troublesome than what they're going to do at the weekend.

A lot of people have commented on the quality of the lyrics, especially in comparison to the fairly high production values of the video. It seems like everyone's forgotten this song's "target audience". Justin Bieber's been managing fine repeating the word "baby" over and over again and - of course - Robin Sparkles had a massive hit in Canada singing about what she wanted to buy at the shops. (I am aware she doesn't actually exist, but I think it's a good example of what I'm trying to explain.)

The Needle Drop's Anthony Fantano has said that Rebecca Black's album will have seven tracks. While I'd be content with songs for the other six days of the week it's fairly unlikely. But I do hope that this style of music continues - it's really nice to be able to listen to something without having to stop every few seconds and play a quick game of "literal or euphemism" to work out what the artist's actually trying to say.

Overall, Rebecca Black isn't hurting anyone. Younger kids will like her music, their parents will like them listening to her music and to be honest, I quite like it too.

Edit: Apparently this song is a one-off, and Ark Music Factory (the production company) are paid to fly out budding superstars and write and record a song and video with them. However, I still stand by my point that we need more pop like this.

James Wyllie
@ItsJazzfest

Tsunami Hits Japan

2011-03-11T13:04:00.004Z

Japan was hit with an earthquake measuring 8.9 on the Richter Scale earlier today, closely followed by a tsunami.

Several nuclear power stations have been automatically shut down, resulting in mass power cuts across the country.

The tsunami has led to widespread flooding, allegedly leaving 32 people dead.

With power cuts in many buildings, more and more are taking refuge in the streets and in higher ground.

Almost all land connected to the Pacific Ocean is said to be at risk, except Canada and Mainland U.S.A.

Further details will be provided as they are discovered.

Five Songs You Must Hear This Week

2011-03-09T20:36:00.001Z

It's officially the start of Lent today, in Western Christianity. It signals the start of a month of sacrifice, whereby each and every member of the public is expected to lose something for that time, something deemed unnecessary by most but that they'll struggle to cope with the loss of.

One thing's for sure, though - you don't want to be giving up on music. Here's a few songs that'll keep you going through the warming Springtime...

The Good Natured: "Your Body is a Machine"

It's a journalistic cliché to say someone sounds older than she is, and in this case it's not even true, but the level of production on plucky 19-year-old Sarah McIntosh's single is high enough to place among the most talked about songs this week. It's not even a single; her first will reach shops by the end of the month, and it's called "Wolves". In all honesty it's not a patch on this catchy, danceable effort.

Team Me: "Weathervanes and Hurricanes"
Songs with odd things attached aren't rare; Nine Inch Nails' "Year Zero" featured an alternate reality game, while Radiohead's latest is to arrive with a 'newspaper' assortment of artworks. However, this is the first song I've seen bundled with a flash game. It's orchestral pop in the same vein as Sufjan Stevens and Everything Everything, but with a much more likeable, happy-to-be-alive twang. Even if it is about drugs.

The Rural Alberta Advantage - "North Star"

Okay, I'll admit to a bit of bias on this one. I've been a big fan of the (former) Albertans for a good while now, despite the incredibly lo-fi production values and the lead vocalist's, shall we say, difficult voice. However, it's safe to say they've been a bit of a sleeper hit, with second album Departing making the rounds on global music blogs. "North Star" comes right off that album, and is a deceptively twee love song with a lovely rhythm.

The xx - "Stars (LAZRtag Remix)"

Oh, don't worry about the name. All the best remix artists have stupid names (Deadmau5, anyone?), and besides, their skill makes up for anything lost there. They're from Los Angeles, where else, and have taken what was initially a runt of a song on an otherwise superb album and transformed it into a foot-tapping club tune, keeping that bass, those whispery vocals and that haunting piano which shoved the group into mainstream success so massively last year.

Radiohead - "Morning Mr Magpie"

He's only gone and put in a Radiohead track! Yes, The King of Limbs was ultimately a disappointment, not deserving of the nine-letter word on the same front cover as masterpieces OK Computer and Kid A. But there's no denying there's been a hell of a lot of buzz surrounding it - including, of course, hundreds of conspiracy theories as has proved the norm with the Oxford troupe. "Morning Mr Magpie" isn't the most technically sound song on the album but it's certainly the most accessible. "Now you've stolen all the magic / And took my memory / You know you should / But you don't..."

Joe Sutherland
@foxhuntingx

Summer Holidays!

2011-03-07T21:03:00.032Z

Graeme Aitken looks at the top and not so top holiday destinations for 2011.

Ibiza
The Island of Ibiza, is a must visit destination for the ‘younger’ Blurst Reader, and in terms of diversity, Ibiza has it all. The North of the Island is geared to the older generation, with Resorts such as Puerto San Miguel and Portinax. However, the Southern half of the Island is where Ibiza gets its partying reputation. The Lively resorts of Playa D’en Bossa (Where the world famous Bora Bora Bar is situated) and San Antonio cater for the masses of clubbers that flock to the Island each summer. San Antonio being the more famous of the two resorts attracts bucket loads of celebrities during the summer season. The clubs to look out for in San Antonio are Es Paradis and Eden. Having been to both Playa D’en Bossa and San Antonio, San Antonio wins by a mile!

Cafe Del Mar

Check Out– The sunset at Café Del Mar. It’s breath taking.
Avoid - Peaches Geldoff. She’s spent many a summer in Ibiza.

Blurst Readers Say:
“I went to San Antonio. It was so good but I spent over £1000 in a week.” Gemma White

“Ibiza is top like. Non-stop party the entire time I was there.” Darren Smith

Blurst Rating: 9/10 If you haven’t visited Ibiza, you haven’t lived.

Zante

The small Greek Island of Zante (Zakynthos) situated in the heart of the Mediterranean is becoming increasingly popular with families as well as the 18-30 crowd. Families with young children enjoy the beautiful scenery and safety and comfort of Skinari. Zante Town and Laganas cater for the lively 18-30 crowds that swarm the resorts in the summer time. Laganas has over 100 bars and is constantly alive with young party goers. There are loads of activities as well for example, scuba diving, booze cruises and bar crawls to name a few! Holidays on the Island are relatively cheap especially when eating and drinking in the larger resorts where there’s loads of competition. The Island has excellent weather during the summer months with temperatures reaching into the thirties!

The Navagio Shipwreck.

Check Out- The Navagio Shipwreck. There’s no place like it.
Avoid- The woods that surround Laganas.

Blurst Readers Say:
“I stayed in Laganas. It was amazing, totally awesome. I’d definitely go again!” Sarah Jamieson

“I stayed in Tsivilli. It was really nice and relaxing.” Suzanne Scott.

Blurst Rating: 7/10 Zante seems a great place for a cheaper holiday. Laganas sounds good, but it can’t compete with places such as Magalluf and Ibiza.

Majorca
Majorca, the largest of the Balearic Islands is home to some real gems. The remote resort of Cala San Vincent to the North of the Island offers retreat like surroundings and gives its visitors a taste of ultimate relaxation. The large and lively resorts of Magalluf and Palma Nova are geared towards families and young people. Palma Nova is very much a family friendly resort with lots for young children to do including Marine Land and a large funfair! Directly next door is the world famous resort of Magalluf. With two large beaches, two massive water parks and hundreds of bars and clubs there’s plenty to keep everyone occupied. And remember - What happens in Maga, stays in Maga!

BCM Nightclub

Check out- BCM Nightclub. The place is World famous.
Avoid- The Tattoo Parlour at 3AM!

Blurst Readers Say:
“Maga was brilliant, best week of my life!” Nathan Ross

“We visited Magalluf during the day and it was very nice. Don’t know if I would fancy it at night though.” Penelope Riddoch

Blurst Rating 10/10 –The Inbetweeners Movie is currently being filmed there. How could we give it anything less?

Egypt
The red sea resort of Sharm Ek Sheikh is Eqypt’s flag ship tourist destination. Forget civil war/violent protests- Sharm El Sheikh is also known as the city of peace. Geared towards families and affluent couples, the resort features several large five star hotels and brilliant attractions including Naama Bay Shopping Centre, Diving Trips into Egypt’s Coral Reef and The Sharm El Sheikh Old Market. It’s maybe not an ideal summer destination in 2011. But, we’re sure the resort will be a lot better by summer 2012.

Hosni Mubarak

Check Out- Pro Democracy
Avoid – A man that introduces himself as Hosni Mubarak.

Blurst Readers Say:
“When i went to Sharm El Sheikh it was very quiet but over the last year or so it’s become really clubby and touristy.” Simon Robertson

“I loved Sharm El Sheikh. The hotels are lovely and it’s so relaxing and laid back. The Staff over there are lovely and will do anything for you, as long as you keep tipping them.” Wilma Gare

Blurst Rating- 4/10 We love Eqyptians. But, Ex-president Hosni Mubarak now lives in Sharm El Sheikh.

Crete
Crete is the largest of the Greek Isles. It is also the most diverse of all the locations Blurst have chosen. Tranquil beaches, idyllic settings and hide-away coves make Crete an Island of Discovery. There’s also the newly popular resort of Malia for the under 25’s. Cheap and cheerful, Malia is a real threat against the larger 18-30 destinations this summer. Beach Road is the setting for Malia’s nightlife. Clubs such as Candy and Apolla draw in the crowds each night as well as the WKD bar. Trendy and up and coming- Malia is sure to be a popular choice for the clubbing scene in 2011!

Malia's Ancient Ruins!

Check Out: The ancient ruins of Malia! (An old greek palace)
Avoid: Any television crews! There’s so many documentaries on the goings on in Malia!

Blurst Readers say:
“We did pass Malia during the day and could hear it at night time. Didn't look like my cup of tea! But the place we stayed wasn't too lively but lively enough!” Lucille Dick

Blurst Rating: 6/10 It’s not quite there. The resort is still surprisingly small.

Graeme Aitken
@GraemeAitken

Homepage image by heatheronhertravels on Flickr.

A Rant About ASDA Dating (Yes, It's a Thing)

2011-03-07T15:12:00.007Z

Sometimes even those with the best intentions can come across as a bit mental. A prime example of this is the supermarket giant ASDA, not content with trying to dominate every other bloody market available, have decided to launch their own online dating service.

Their quirky hook is that by comparing singletons’ shopping baskets you may find love with some one who has a similar lust for long walks on the beach and a cupboard full of Bacon flavoured Supernoodles. The fact that it is ASDA online that have launched this most hilarious of ideas unleashes a plethora of retorts like “Oh, oh do they deliver?”, “Is there an expiry date on my purchase?” and “I just hope they don’t have a Smart Price section.” I must confess, I’ve always wanted to meet the lady from the adverts who declared during a gathering amongst friends that totally always happens as they compare their receipts online as a group that “I saved five pounds!”. She seems like she’d be fun on a date, probably to the ASDA café.

Once you get inside the site it appears to be like what any other dating site would be asking your preferences, do you like going out etc. However, when you search for “tasty dates” you are presented with a 12 question quiz promising romance and “the one” at the end of it, based on your answers to questions such as “What types of cake do you like?” and “What types of cheese do you like?” I like cheesecake, so what the hell am I supposed to answer?

I only ever shop at ASDA when I’m desperate and quickly running out of money; so I assume that the makers of asdadating.co.uk are following the very same mantra except in this case it’s not living without supernoodles but rather a companion to share said supernoodles with.

Overall, I really don’t know what to think of this idea. It’s only really funny because it’s ASDA and is nowhere near as far-fetched as say uniformdating.com where people can “find love” based entirely on someone’s uniform is fairly ludicrous though I assume the idea doesn’t go as far as a teacher can actively seek some one in a school uniform. I bloody hope any way. That ASDA have released this demon will assumedly see more supermarkets following suit as they all try and monopolise every minute detail of our lives into one organisation’s control. I don’t want to bore you with a maniacal rant about how awful supermarkets are, so I wont. Much like a relationship, I have no idea how to end this but eh, it’s, it’s not you. It’s me. Yeah, that’ll do.

Findlay Mair
@fin1991

Are Social Networking Sites Replacing Our Diaries?

2011-03-07T13:27:00.003Z

A brief look at the status of social networking sites over our diaries.

From Twitter to Facebook, to Bebo and even blogs - all are platforms where people pour out their thoughts. What is happening? "In the bath" says a Twitter user. What is on your mind? "we broke up today (sobs)" says a Facebook user.

Hundreds, thousands and even millions of people see the kind of things we post on social networking sites on a daily basis. So the question is: "Are some certain things meant for our personal diaries?" Day by day people get a lot more personal and take to social networking to pour out these things, things which would have been better if we kept them to ourselves or those very close to us instead of a fair portion of the world.

A lot of us are used to online chatting all thanks to the advancement of technology and we share a very good relationship with the keyboard, so we ask: "Why put pen to paper, why do we bother confiding in something that cannot talk back to us?"

The truth is that everybody wants to belong somewhere. While some people might still keep diaries they will have no problem with answering Twitter's question: "What's happening?" or Facebook's question: "What's on your mind?" Yes, the questions do seem nosy and it is like they want to pry into your minds and extract all the information they can for a large population. On the bright side, you won't have to worry about people breaking in to your diaries to know what is going on in your mind and your lives! It is all there, well, for those of us that are brave enough to post certain things.

Some may argue that social networking sites are dangerous and others say that they help us connect in a way we wouldn't have dreamt about 20 years ago. Twitter, for example, is quite popular with celebrities who use the platform to connect with their fans and at the same time make the news for some certain stuff they tweet. We can argue that a lot of them have turned Twitter and even Facebook into their public journal or diary. Let us face the fact; Twitter is the only place where you can follow people without any risk of a restraining order. Good news for obsessed fans!!

To sum up, let us all take a look at what we post and what others post. I am sure we will come across some stuff that we really should not know and some that well, we would not mind knowing.

Fatima Joji
@fatima_joji

Homepage image by trekkyandy on Flickr.

Mini Mix with SDA: This Ain't A Scene, It's A Mixtape

2011-03-05T20:42:00.012Z

We've partnered up with SDA to bring you some mini mixes you'll only be able to find on The Blurt Times - here's the first: "This Ain't A Scene, It's A Mixtape".

SDA has used a great mix of music here - from bands like Fall Out Boy to brand new UK rap artists like Kasha. It sounds like it'd be a bit of a mess, but it's really not.

If you like well-crafted mash-ups, you should definitely give this a listen. You can also download this mix, just click on the Download button on the player!

Tracklisting:
"Barbara Streisand" - Duck Sauce
"Without Me" - Eminem
"Girls Gone Wild" - Ludacris
"The Battery" - Boys Noize
"This Ain't a Scene, It's an Arms Race" - Fall Out Boy
"Phantom" - Justice
"American Boy" - Estelle
"Don't Believe the Hype" - Boys Noize
"Wu-Tang (Battery pt.2)" - Boys Noize
"On The Beat" - Kasha

If you liked any of the music sampled in this mini mix, please have a look at some of these artists' other work.

Thanks again to SDA for this exclusive mini mix for The Blurst Times.
@SDA1991

The photograph used on the album art was taken by VancityAllie on Flickr. The art was made for non-commercial purposes and, due to the terms and conditions of the copyright, this album art is being released under the same license.

All music featured is intended for promotional use only. We really like all of your music and wanted to share it with the world. If you aren’t happy with us including your music in this mixtape please email us and we’ll sort it out.

Blurst Blend: Summer Nights

2011-02-27T23:26:00.006Z

It’s roughly 10C during the day in Aberdeen, which is about as warm as it's going to get. Perfect for playing great summery music well into the night. Sure it's only February, but even if you don't want to let go of winter just yet you'll still appreciate this Blurst Blend.
The music choice kicks off with the high-voltage Go! Team, who recently treated the city to a showcase of stunningly energetic indie-pop. "Buy Nothing Day" was the second single from their third album Rolling Blackouts, and is just a taste of their trademark tomfoolery. A perhaps more familiar name follows in the form of Basement Jaxx. Their most recent release, Scars, may have had a mixed reception - but there's no denying the pristine gloss Louis La Roche has applied onto first single "Raindrops".

"The Reeling", in its pure form, is already a stellar example of what alternative dance can offer. However, Scottish DJ Calvin Harris breathes an altogether different colour of life into the song. The pace then mutates into the deceptively comforting pace of "Garden" by the hat-toting producer Totally Enormous Extinct Dinosaurs. The song is every bit as awesome as that name makes it sound.

From the familiar sound of a British voice we travel to the not-so-barren wastes of Canada for the next act on the tape. Dragonette's infectious beats on "Our Summer Volcano" taunt you in before the melody properly ties you down. A brief interlude, before bam - a French bass drum explodes into the air, so loud the speakers almost refuse to cope. Yelle's "A cause des garçons" has been given the bounce treatment by Mr Tanguy Destable - otherwise known as Tepr.

We then move to an act who have received applause from all over the world. New York duo MNDR have been around for a few years now, but only in 2010 did the bloggers latch on. "Cut Me Out" is a shining star of an electro anthem, foot-tapping required. This slides in bizarrely well with the hip-hop stylings of Hoodie Allen on "C.R.A.V.E." - when a song begins with the lyric "Said I feel so sweet they compare me to Nestlé," you just know you're in for a treat.

Another critically lauded group take the penultimate slot in the mixtape - Kiwis The Naked and Famous' debut Passive Me, Aggressive You showcases both the group's powerful beat-driven dance-pop and the slower, more intimate collection of electronic love letters. It wouldn't take a rocket scientist to guess which of those "Punching in a Dream" falls into. The final twist in the tale is again in a foreign language - Yelle's second appearance is decidely more controlled, but still carries a vicious hummable melody and a chorus which documents some animals having a wee dance. Very good.

If you like any of the music on this Blurst Blend, please have a look at some of the artists' other work.

Tracklisting:
0:00 “Buy Nothing Day” – The Go! Team
3:54 “Raindrops (Louis La Roche Rework)” – Basement Jaxx
7:26 “The Reeling (Calvin Harris Remix)” – Passion Pit
13:24 “Garden” – Totally Enormous Extinct Dinosaurs
16:58 “Our Summer Volcano” – Dragonette
21:26 “A cause des garçons (Tepr Remix)” – Yelle
24:06 “Cut Me Out” – MNDR
27:12 “C.R.A.V.E.” – Hoodie Allen
30:05 “Punching in a Dream” – The Naked and Famous
33:46 “Safari Disco Club” – Yelle

Pretty much everything:
Joe Sutherland
@foxhuntingx

Music choice:
James Wyllie
@itsjazzfest

All music featured is intended for promotional use only. We really like all of your music and wanted to share it with the world. If you aren’t happy with us including your music in this mixtape please email us and we’ll sort it out.

App Review: Tiny Wings

2011-02-27T18:02:00.002Z

Even though we spend £5-6 on a cinema ticket or £10 pre-ordering a CD we've not heard before, buying that 59p app always seems like such a financial risk. But 'Tiny Wings' is well worth the money.

The game - like so many on the Apple App Store at the moment - is very simple. Touch the screen to gather speed by folding your wings, and let go of the screen to flap your wings and fly. While it does sound basic, usually the games that require the least amount of brainpower are also the most popular (at the time of writing, 'Tiny Wing's is number 1 on the UK App Store 'Top Paid' list).

In 'Tiny Wings', the main goal of the game is to fly as far as you can, going from island to island, before night-time catches up with you. There are various power-ups to help you out - golden coins give you extra points and blue coins boost your speed. By sliding down hills perfectly you can also enter 'frenzy mode', where you'll go faster and earn more points in the process. There's not much else to it and, while it sounds a little complicated, you'll have mastered the controls before you've even finished your first game.

'Tiny Wings' also has objectives you can complete as you go along, adding more to the game to slow down how quickly you'll eventually getting bored of it. These appear in groups of three and completing each group allows you to upgrade your birds nest. The better your birds nest, the more points you earn ingame. The objectives are also quite varied for such a simple game, with challenges like 'Reach the 4th island without any 'great slides'' or 'Touch the clouds 5 times on the 5th island'.

However, it's not just the app's gameplay that draws you in - 'Tiny Wings' is full of charm. The game's hand-drawn-style graphics look great on the iDevice 4th gen's Retina screen. Even the little things like the way the bird disappears into the clouds are amazing to look at. The squawks and chirps the bird makes as it flies through the air are also great. Even though you don't know why it's flying so far (or the fact that it's only a character in a game), you'll probably find yourself rooting for the bird to get as far as it can.

Overall, 'Tiny Wings' is a great game. The controls are very easy to get the hang of and the way the game draws you in means that you'll be going back for "just one more game" many, many times.

You can see 'Tiny Wings' on the App Store by clicking here.

James Wyllie
@itsjazzfest

Martyn's Midweek Predictions and Tips

2011-02-23T15:10:00.007Z

The big game tonight comes from the Stade Vélodrome in Marseille. Manchester United are away to French champions Olympique de Marseille.

United will be missing the experience of Ryan Giggs and Michael Owen as well as being without Rio Ferdinand in the heart of defence. Anderson and Jonny Evans are both also unfit.

Chris Smalling is expected to partner Nemanja Vidic in central defence, which will be an area Marseille manager and former Chelsea player Didier Deschamps should be looking to exploit.

Manchester United’s last league game saw them defeat local rivals Manchester City 2-1 while Marseille also beat St. Étienne by the same margin.

United are favourites for the game but this should be a close match, Marseille are the French Champions for a reason and also hold home advantage. United may be content with a draw but I suspect Sir Alex will be looking to get an early goal then hold out and take there opponents down in the second leg at Old Trafford.

Prediction: Marseille 0-1 Manchester United

There is only one match from the Barclay's Premiership tonight as title hopefuls Arsenal take on Stoke City at the Emirates Stadium.

Arsenal come off the back of a 2-0 win against Wolves but will be without Striker Robin Van Persie.

Stoke City have yet to claim any points away from home in 2011, conceding seven goals and scoring just one. However Arsenal will be without centre back Laurent Koscielny giving Arsene Wenger a selection headache in defence where they are already without Thomas Vermaelen and may have to rely on Sebastien Squillaci. Stoke should try to exploit this weakness and attack.

However, Arsenal are clear favourites in this game and for a good reason, the Gunners are unbeaten in nine matches and should make it ten by the end of the evening

Prediction: Arsenal 3-1 Stoke City

The SPL brings us Motherwell against St. Mirren at Fir Park tonight. Despite the Steelmen being Hamilton’s local rivals there are no prizes for guessing who Accies boss Billy Reid will be cheering for in this match.

Both Aberdeen and Hibernian are pulling away from the Relegation fight leaving just second bottom St.Mirren and rock bottom Hamilton fighting it out for Survival.

Motherwell have regained some credibility since their 6-0 thrashing from Rangers a few weeks ago and went on to win their next two games against Aberdeen and Hamilton, but St. Mirren have not won a league game since beating Inverness 2-1 on Boxing Day.

Motherwell are still missing Steve Jones and Steven Saunders tonight and striker Michael Higdon is a doubt for St.Mirren.

Motherwell should have a comfortable night if the Buddies continue to perform the way that they have been in recent matches.

Prediction: Motherwell 2-0 St.Mirren

One of the most promising matches tonight is a replay of last years Champions League Final.

Inter Milan take on Bayern Munich at the San Siro. Last year Inter beat the Germans to win the biggest prize in European football and Bayern will be seeking revenge this time around.

Both teams are without key players, Inter striker Diego Milito is out with a hamstring injury and Bayern will miss leading scorer Mario Gomez. Inter are however boosted by the return of Wesley Sneijder.

Both teams should be expected to attack tonight, Inter will be looking to get an aggregate lead to take to the Allianz Arena as Bayern seek a healthy scoreline to make the return leg in Munich more comfortable.

Prediction: Inter 2-2 Bayern Munich

Martyn’s Cheeky Punt of the Night

William Hill has Sevilla priced at 14/5 away to Porto.

Porto hold a narrow 2-1 lead from the First Leg but these sides are still very evenly matched. It’s a bit of a coupon buster but Sevilla are definitely strong enough to overcome the small deficit and at 14/5 are worth a cheeky punt.

Martyn Simpson

Just Had Enough: The Old Firm are getting really old, like me.

2011-02-21T23:45:00.022Z

Just Can’t Get Enough?

The problem with Christmas is that, much like the entire population of pandas, it only comes once a year. So along with your birthday, there’s two dates on the calendar that you really look forward to. The same is true for most football fans at the start of the season when they look at the fixture list to see when their team plays its local rivals.

But not in Scotland.

In a good year, thanks to the split, the most two teams will play each other is three times. Which is still one too many. And three too many if you’re a Hibs fan just now.

But if you follow follow Rangers or hail hail Celtic, you’re treated to a local derby at least four times a year. Not including possible cup matches. This is one of those years when the Glasgow giants have faced each other at every domestic opportunity. And just to top it off, they drew in the cup so now there’s a replay of that one too.

Thank god Celtic got knocked out of the Europa League.

It’s not to say that Old Firm games aren’t exciting, and usually the best games of the Scottish season, but seven times in one year?

I know I’m not the only one fed up if it. One look at Celtic Park on Sunday and it was obvious that everyone in a blue shirt was bored limp with the thought of playing “them” again. Except El Hadji Diouf, it must’ve just dawned on him that there IS a worse place to play than in Blackburn.

[Scott Brown basking in the glory of playing against a Premiership player]

My theory is that the Celtic board is helping Rangers out financially by givng them more derbies.

We all know the sob story of Sir David Murray and his twitchy cheque-writing hand, and how that hand is now twitching down the trousers of Lloyds bank, desperately trying to save the Gers.

So is it too hard to suggest that maybe Celtic have realised that without Rangers they are also screwed? Winning the league constantly would be fun, but after 21 in a row surely even the greenest of Celtic fans would get fed up, especially when their jealousy at Rangers and Partick’s rivalry kicks in.

[The first known picture of an Old Firm Game. David Weir is behind the Ginger kid]

The whole “let’s play in England!” thing isn’t working out. Neither is the idea of playing against top European teams in an Atlantic League or whatever it was meant to be. The idea of even playing in Europe at all is proving too much now too.

So maybe his is a ploy to nurse Rangers along until they can con some poor fool into buying the keys to Ibrox by telling them there’s gold or oil under the pitch. At this rate the Teddy Bears are as well stripping back the stadium for raw materials and going to the scrappies to see what they can get.

So here’s an idea: why not let them play each other all the time all year. Let’s forget this SPL1 and SPL2 stuff. And chuck the whole 10/12/14/16 team league debate out the window. They’ve made no qualms in the past about ditching the rest of Scottish football in order to stay alive, so why not let them?

In fact, why not push them. Let them play in their own little two-team league.

When other leagues get word of this exciting new brand of Scottish football without the pesky small clubs anchoring the Old Firm, John Reid and Martin Bain will soon have Real and Barca, Man Utd and City et al booting in the door to join this fantastic new league. It will be like all their Christmases and Birthdays rolled into one.

And with them gone maybe someone else can challenge for the title and give us the exciting league we’re all crying out for.

Jim Johnstone
@JimJohnstone87

You can take the dog out of Glasgow...

2011-02-16T15:04:00.014Z

There was big controversy at the San Siro last night. Bigger than Peter Crouch actually scoring this season. Bigger than Aaron Lennon completing a final ball. Bigger than Zlatan Ibrahimovic hiding for 90 minutes. And even bigger than Jamie Redknapp calling his dad "mate". The big controversy in question was Milan's Gennaro Gattuso headbutting Tottenham’s coach Joe Jordan.

After “losing it” in a more schoolboy fashion than his team-mates against Spurs last night, it looks like Gattuso, the cult Rangers star turned World Cup and Champions League winner, should have picked on someone his own size.

Jordan is over 6ft, missing four front teeth and well known for putting his head where most men wouldn’t put their wellies. This is a man who once dislocated the jaw of a Spurs keeper who kept charging at him at corners while playing for 'Dirty Leeds'.

Wee Rino has since apologised(ish) for the incident at the end of a well-earned 0-1 away victory for Spurs, and is awaiting punishment from Uefa. Defending himself after the match, Gattuso said they were “speaking Scottish”, and that he was “nervous”.

BITE

Ever the pantomime villain of matches, Gattuso’s fierce defensive midfield style has earned him the nickname Rhingio (Growl). His strongest assets on the pitch are his ball-winning ability and talent for winding up opponents. This is what matchday pundit and infamous hardman Graeme Souness referred to when he described Gattuso as "a little dog". But this little dog's bark seems much worse than his bite.

No wonder he was nervous- his controversies are fairly tame compared to those of his peers. Before this, Rino’s biggest crime was slapping Zlatan Ibrahimovic with a cheeky backhand. Cuffing Ibrahimovic, who looks and plays like a depressed horse, is more of an act of encouragement than a sin worthy of the all-time list of hard-man moments.

Gattuso isn’t even the dirtiest player of his era, just ask Xabi Alonso or Hatem Ben Arfa, who have suffered at the feet of Nigel de Jong. In fact, he was even overshadowed by the whole Materazzi/Zidane headbutting of the 2006 World Cup Final.

Shouting and pushing was mere foreplay for players such as Souness [2:50] , the sociopathic Roy Keane, or the Butcher of Bilbao Andoni Goikoetxea. Sadly Gattuso seems to be all bark and no balls.

KID

Perhaps, Rino simply has a case of short man syndrome. He picked on the biggest kid in the playground last night, and even then the worst Crouch can retaliate with is a poor impression of C-3PO made of pipe-cleaners.

Gattuso acted like a spoilt brat all game, pushing and shouting at anything that moved, he even punched the ground as if it were to blame for him forgetting that football games usually involve kicking the ball, not bullying everyone else for their pocket money.

All of this carry on has overshadowed what was a tremendous night for Spurs who, on this form, can dare to dream of perhaps going even further than Leeds did in 00/01, the last surprise English package to swashbuckle their way through the Champions League.

Maybe by the time Gattuso serves his ban he'll have had the time to learn to butt out of touchline scraps, and keep his talking on pitch.

Jim Johnstone

Ask Blurst #2

2011-02-16T12:54:00.004Z

Do you have a problem that needs solved? Each week you can anonymously Ask Blurst for help with your worries and we will do our best to help you out!

Thanks to Jim Johnstone for offering his advice this week.

If you have a question you would like answered on Ask Blurst, please visit our Formspring. You can leave questions anonymously, but please leave a name - even if it's not your own!

Dear Blurst Times, My boyfriend and I have been dating for three years now and I recently found out that he cheated on me in the first year we were dating. I love him, but I can't get over the fact that he betrayed me. What should I do? - Maria
Jim: The question is: can you still trust him? It’s easy to say “I forgive you”, but a lack of trust can eat away at a relationship unless you deal with this problem as soon as possible. I’ve seen people close to me cheat and the two main reasons are either because the relationship has gone stale, or the cheater has issues with trust.

Have you asked him why he did it? It won’t be pretty having to sit and hear him describe how and why it happened, but you can’t move on if you never know why he did it.

Has he done anything to make you suspicious over the past three years? Everyone is capable of making mistakes in a relationship, and it would be wrong to throw away three years with someone over what could have been a moment of weakness. But if he's been secretive about his phone/ computer, or engaging in more than just harmless flirting, then the chances are he's still at it.

---

Dear Blurst, My friend is always late to everything - even when they've organised meeting up! Sometimes they are late by over an hour! I've had enough, what can I do? - Dominic
Jim: Dominic, are you one of my mates using a pseudonym? I’m always late for everything, even if I’m working at five and have all day free!

Some people are useless at stuff like this, so don't start ripping their ego to shreds over their absent-mindedness. What my friend used to do to me was ask me to turn up earlier for stuff, i.e. say “come round at 3.30”, then get ready for four (or later!).

Take the mickey out of them for it at first and hope that they get the point and start being punctual.

Failing that, try getting them a massive, Flava Flav-style watch necklace.

---

Dear Blurst. On nights when I have uni the next morning, my flatmate will come in and make a lot of noise at three or four in the morning. I've asked them to keep the noise down, but they still do it. What can I do? - Jess
Jim: Jess, this may not come across the right way but, have you tried earplugs? I’ve used those earphones that go right in your ears when I’m sleeping in the same room as heavy snorers. And trust me, they work even against guys who make noises like Darth Vader guesting on a Pig Destroyer song.

Another alternative is to just make noise back. When you get up for uni early in the morning, they’ll be sleeping- and nursing the start of a hangover. Silly them! Just clatter the cupboards about and put the telly on loud, and when they complain just say that you’re always this loud when you get up early for uni.

And if worst comes to worst, get drunk and come home later than them and noise them up all night by knocking on the their door and phoning them so they can hear what awesome song has come on that they just have to hear. Should do the trick.

---

Dear The Blurst Times, I'm having a problem with my new boyfriend. We've been going out for 3 months now, and he's a great guy. He's sweet, funny and good with my kids. The problem is that he can't perform sexually. He won't open up to me about why, and I'm beginning to worry. - Catherine
Jim: Sometimes it takes time for people in a relationship to get to know properly what the other person likes in the bedroom. Maybe he's just a bit shy? Talk to him and get him to open up, and find out what he likes, and tell him what you're in to.

You never know, with a bit of work he might just be able to fill the one box thats missing on your checklist.

Scottish Junior Riots

2011-02-15T18:59:00.008Z

Violence erupted on Saturday at the Scottish Juniors Cup match.

The game was between long term rivals Cumnock Juniors and Auchinleck Talbot.
At around 3PM, during halftime, police were forced to intervene as rival fans began throwing missiles into a corner of the pitch.

As fighting between opposing supporters broke out on the pitch, four mounted policemen once again intervened to prevent anyone getting hurt.

Henry Dumigan, the secretary of Auchinleck Talbot, stated: ”The guilty persons are not junior football supporters but are trouble-makers attracted to these games for the purpose of confrontation and disruption on a stage.”

Later, riots started in Cumnock Town Centre between rival fans. Men, women and even children as young as 12 were fighting on both sides.

A police statement said: “Officers made the decision at full time to hold the Auchinleck support in the stadium for approximately 5-10 minutes while the Cumnock fans left the stadium, and Strathclyde Police apologises if any genuine fans were affected.”

Three people were arrested during the riots concerning charges of breaching the peace, drinking in public, and possession of drugs.

Even before the game, fans and players were escorted by the police from Auchinleck to Cumnock, where the match was played.

Cumnock Junior FC secretary George Morton said: “Cumnock Juniors FC will be taking appropriate action against anyone found to have been causing trouble during Saturday’s match. These people are not welcomed at Townhead Park as all they do is tarnish the reputation of the club and of Junior football as a whole. Anyone found guilty will be banned from the ground and have their details passed to the police.”

These two long term rivals have a history of violence where their fans are concerned, but in recent years there has been little trouble. However, Saturday’s riots prove that violence is still a problem for these teams.

A police spokeswoman said there was an increased level of police on hand for the match due to the history of violence between Cumnock Juniors and Auchinleck Talbot.

Ayrshireblog posted on Twitter: “Here in Ayrshire Auchinleck and Cumnock morons rioting over football. This area has enough problems without these brainless idiots.”

Scott Holland
@ShadyNeo

Destroying Art, Science and Philosophy in 3 Easy Bathroom-Related Steps

2011-02-14T19:25:00.013Z

Life getting you down? Hate bathrooms? Kieran Beattie has the solutions. All of them.

It's 7.00. Your phone's generic bleeps and blorps rip you from your possibly sexy dream. What’s worse, is that your boss is forcing you to conform to this crazy new religion of “Basic hygiene” and waste your precious coco pop time “de-stanking” yourself. Before you take the logical decision and smash your head through the microwave, try following these three inspirational tips to make the most of your mandatory bathroom time.

#1: Become God

" THIS IS TOTAL BS"

Cnut the Great, alongside inspiring the name of French Connection UK, was famous for being the King of Most Of Europe back when everyone was all about longboats and pillaging. Not content with his absolute power over the vast swathes of beardy gents and ladies of Britain, Norway, Sweden and Denmark, he decided to seize control over man’s oldest and wettest enemy: the sea. Under a stroke of sheer genius or possibly just because of a stroke, he plopped his throne on the beach, cracked open a can ‘o’ mead, and yelled at the sea to not come any closer OR ELSE.

Somehow it didn’t work, so he gave up his career in kinging for a life of swearing loudly at passing puddles and crying himself to sleep.

But where Cnut failed at bending the forces of nature to his will, YOU will rise above adversity and COMMAND THE TIDES THEMSELVES.

Think about it. You’re in the shower, waters going everywhere. Surely it will escape! That blasted waters going to show you up again, and in front of your hot date! On the day of the big game! It’s time to make a stand.

Stand directly under the shower head and adopt the power stance, legs apart, and arms erect at your sides, fists tight. When the time is right, EXPLODE your fists open and tense your fingers, (teeth baring optional).Congratulations, you are now FIRING WATER OUT OF YOUR FINGERS and are PRETTY MUCH A GOD. Scuk it, Cnut.

Please, for the sake of us mere mortals, use your newfound hydro-kinesis for good.

#2: Show Da Vinci who’s boss.

"no da vinci that is the wrong number of limbs what are you blind"

So it’s 7.30, and you’ve already completely negated a historical figure’s influence on society with your sick bathroom techniques. But why stop at just one? Why not take on the most influential painter and all around famous guy of all time, Leonardo “ Da Best” Da Vinci?

The Mona Lisa took Da Vinci 15 years of procrastination and laziness to complete, and what does he have to show for it? Some oily paper in a French museum, a movie about said paper starring Tom Hanks, and the piece’s disappointing smallitude in real life.

What you will create in 20 seconds will last generations, and prove to the world once and for all that the history books got it wrong and YOU are the TRUE archetype of the Renaissance man, not that beardy dork.

“But how on Earth will I surpass the goddamn Mona Lisa IN MY TOILET?!?” I hear you shake my collar with both hands and demand? The answer is the same one that effervesced its way into the mind of Scottish Inventor James Watt when faced with the problem of his trains running on thousands of ridiculously inefficient land-oarsmen: STEAM.

Sure, they might call it “ rushed” or “what are you trying to prove here and why am I in your bathroom”, but in their hearts they know that you are much smarter, cooler, sexier, and postmodern or some other such horseshit than they will ever be. Here’s my effort:

So it’s now 8.00, you’ve revolutionised the world of philosophy AND art, and you STILL haven’t gone through your weekly disappointment of accidentally pouring that god-awful coco pop mush from the bottom of the box into your bowl. Why not make it a hat trick ( I don’t know anything about football) and blow the huge, pulsating minds of science with THREE revolutions?

#3: Answer the most important and least asked question in the universe

Step one: Form the anchor.

Step 2: Deploy.

Step 3: PUSH THE BOUNDARIES OF HUMAN UNDERSTANDING AND TAKE THE SECOND GREAT LEAP

WHAT.

WILL.

HAPPEN.

I like to call this manoeuvre the “ Rapunzel Effect.”

Why has no one asked this before? And why is there STILL not an abundance of nightclub/hairdresser combos? (That’s another article for another day.)

Use this article responsibly.

Kieran Beattie

This Week's Singles Reviews: Feb 13

2011-02-13T17:13:00.001Z

A quick look at the singles released in the UK this week - Chromeo, Jedward, JLS, Lady GaGa and Taio Cruz!

Chromeo ft. Elly Jackson - 'Hot Mess'
Chromeo's songs all have the same great retro electronic feel to them, but the introduction of Elly Jackson's (La Roux) adds another level to this song. 'Hot Mess' is fantastically summery but because of the cold, sleety weather outside, I have a horrible feeling this song isn't going to do nearly as well as it should.

Jedward - 'Lipstick'
'Lipstick' is a very odd song for Jedward to be representing Ireland at Eurovision 2011 with, but it works surprisingly well. On paper, a song with a Eurodance beat and lots of vocoder "hey-hey"s and "woah-oh"s sounds like a disaster, but it's actually quite good.

JLS ft. Tinie Tempah - 'Eyes Wide Shut'
This whole song confuses me. From the title (seriously, what does that mean?) to the synths ripping off Calvin Harris, there's just something not right. It's only slightly redeemed by the fact they've used the ultimate chat-up line about "rearranging the alphabet" in the rap part-way through.

Lady Gaga - 'Born This Way'
If the rumours about this single being a last-minute remix are true, it explains why 'Born This Way' hasn't lived up to the hype - seeming like less of a "game-changer" and more like Madonna's 'Express Yourself'. While I think the message would have been lost slightly if the lyrics were subtle, it's fairly explicit in what it's saying. Overall, this is a good song and even though it's new, it just feels a little too familiar.

Taio Cruz ft. Kylie Minogue - 'Higher'
Just like Chromeo's 'Hot Mess', this feels like a summery song that's been released way too early. 'Higher' is a great piece of fast-paced dance-pop and Cruz's and Minogue's vocals work so well together, reminding me of both the excitement of summer and that laid-back feeling that comes with it at the same time.

James Wyllie
@itsjazzfest

Guitar Hero: Does anyone actually care?

2011-02-13T17:11:00.011Z

Picture the scene. It's a cold, miserable Wednesday night in the United States, and your games business is going down the pan. It had, around four or five years previous, acquired the rights to publish a unique game from an indie developer, and, following years of selling millions of copies, you decide to tear it up.

Obviously it's a lot more complicated than it appears, but Activision (now merged to form Activision Blizzard) are finally axing (sorry) once massive franchise Guitar Hero.

Once we clear our ears of the devastated screams from post-pub metalheads, we look back, and we see that this move hasn't come out of boredom. The fact is, incredibly, the public simply don't play rhythm games any more.

I only discovered this recently, but the machines which usually sit vacantly gathering dust in arcades across the UK playing techno music and sporting flashy arrows and clunky sprites dancing are actually the height of popularity in the teenage United States and Japan.

Dance Dance Revolution (often just DDR) is played by stamping on the mat beneath the player in time with the beat of the puce music the machine emits.

But even there, despite being a console game in conjunction, the sales of said standalone game don't even lay a finger on the amount of money inserted into these machines by sweaty intoxicated youths.

Rhythm games, a genre which Guitar Hero and failed sister series DJ Hero fall into, have generally seen their sales suffer in recent years. Back in 2005, when DDR was popular even over on this side of the Atlantic, Guitar Hero's birth gave those too "cool" to jump around like a mental patient a way to show that they too had a good sense of timing.

The series was a profitable one, shifting 25 million copies over the course of its existence, and earning the company a cool $2 billion.

However, after Guitar Heroes I, II, III, IV and V, plus a number of band-centred ports and hand-held versions, consumers had just gotten bored, not bothering (or not being able to afford) to buy every version - especially as the gameplay was identical each time.

Activision Blizzard, however, hardly have no backup plan. Despite axing these games, it still takes in a massive amount of revenue through titles such as the record-breaking Call of Duty: Black Ops - which has now easily passed the $1 billion mark in worldwide sales - and the latest World of Warcraft instalment, Cataclysm.

So perhaps it's not a surprise to see the company get rid of the series, but there are those who still enjoy whacking out a good ten minutes of "Free Bird" on Expert, just to remind them that life isn't easy.

Joe Sutherland
@foxhuntingx

West Ham 1 - Tottenham 0

2011-02-13T16:34:00.004Z

For a team with a points-per-game average of less than one after a full twenty-six games in the Premier League, West Ham United seem to have developed a good knack of pinching things from under folk's noses. First their ten men snatch a win against Birmingham, then they steal a cup place from Nottingham Forest, and now they're mugging Harry Redknapp. ...Again.

But this time it's not watches or wallets leaving the pockets of the Tottenham gaffer. Newham-based West Ham have taken something considerably more valuable from the hands of the London Whites - the Olympic Stadium.

It was an awfully bizarre war of words that threw the argument into the air, with the 63-year-old even going as far to suggest the main reason that Tottenham were favourites for the bid was that West Ham would miss Upton Park. If you've ever been there you'll know it's a little bit of a mess.

What made the decision most astonishing, however, is that West Ham and Tottenham hardly share a history. Despite both teams being roughly the same age, the Hammers' highest league placing was fifth, in 1999, while Tottenham have lifted the trophy twice in the fifties and the sixties.

More recently that trend hasn't subsided - last season Spurs finished thirteen places higher, and it only takes a look at the current league tables to show that the whites are by far and away the better team this season.

That fact is more than likely down to the silly money thrown around by Redknapp and company in both summer and winter. No less than £18.5 million has gone on new players this season, highlights being an £8 million swoop for Dutch World Cup highlight Rafael van der Vaart. West Ham meanwhile have been a little more conservative, only disclosing one fee - the £4 million bid for Mexican Pablo Barrera.

However, money aside, Tottenham failed for one reason and one reason only - they wanted to knock the brand new stadium down and build (yes) another one on top.

Amazingly the notion didn't bode well with the Olympic Park Legacy Company executives, and they went with plucky West Ham instead.

Just goes to show that money doesn't buy you everything. Including brand new stadiums.

Joe Sutherland
@foxhuntingx

Football and Women

2011-02-12T17:19:00.014Z

Women and football don't go, its one of the most popular all time sayings, that normally a male will receive a cuff around the ear for but nothing else. But is this sexist and untrue statement really true, and why is it perceived that only men can be entertained by football.

Recently there has been quite a large scandal involving football pundit Andy Gray, who made a massive faux pas, when a live microphone twice picked him up making fun of the fact that a female linesman would be officiating a game in the English Premier League. This led to Gray leaving his lucrative position at Sky Sports and has now been taken on by talkSPORT, as well as another controversial Sky pundit, Richard Keys.

The main thing that annoyed me about Gray, was that his insults weren't even good insults, they were just basic and stupid, a bit like him I suppose, who mocked that the lines(wo)man - Sian Massey - wouldn't know the offside rule. Now come on Andy, as hilarious as hearing that is, is there any need?

Straight away a controversy was created, front pages of newspapers were taken up, important political topics were pushed further back into Rupert Murdoch's 'unbiased' papers, as The Sun, and News of the World, jumped to defend Gray, with the excuse that men could be heard saying up and down Britain 'well he's not wrong is he?'.

So was he wrong?

Well let's take a dive into history to look at the roots of football. Throughout the mid 1800s, football was created, and tweaked to become what we have today, played by men, for men. Men's sport, Andy Gray is correct, yeah?

No.

Women's football was developed in the 1920s when men's football was only really getting into the swing of it, more and more clubs were establishing themselves and leagues all around the world were being set up. Not too many women were keen to play as had no real time in their lives, but there still a few hundred in the country that would take part.

So that is the 1920s we are in with men and women both playing football.

The offside rule as we know it today was formally introduced in 1990, after different changes to it through the last 100 years. The female linesman the day of Andy Gray's last game was born before the rule was introduced, as are most female professionals in the game today, so why would they not understand the offside rule?

The world of football really is controlled by men, and women are seen as outsiders to the sport, and sometimes for good reasons. I still remember being asked who Man united were playing in the World Cup by a female, who has attended quite a few football games herself.

The whole real point of this rant is to try and show that women are just as much as likely to know the offside rule as men, and there is no reason as to why women shouldn't be involved in the game. Just because a lot of women choose not to get involved in it, doesn't mean all don't want to, just like not all males watch/play football. Really its just stupid and pointless sexism, and Andy Gray has shown himself up as a typical idiot male that lies within the footballing world, hopefully he'll be replaced by a women.

Simon Kermack

@athenryguy

Top Valentine's Dos and Don'ts

2011-02-12T13:58:00.021Z

Some dos and don'ts to make sure your Valentine's Day runs smoothly!

1. Do make an effort with your partner, nobody likes a Valentines Scrooge!
2. Don’t be mean with the money. We’re all living in a recession but c’mon – NOBODY wants Lidl’s finest Latvian Chocolates.
3. Do be spontaneous. Start off in a nice bar for some cheeky cocktails and see where the night takes you.
4. Don’t go Valentine's Overkill. There’s a fine line between spoiling your partner and being creepy with loads of gifts.
5. Do send a card to your Valentine. What’s the worst that could happen? You’d prefer to have died trying, right?
6. Don’t brag to your friends about how amazing your partner is. Nobody single appreciates it and you’ll be branded a right bitch.
7. Do take some pride in yourself. Girls book the beauticians, guys get that hair re-styled. This means new clothes, nice perfume/aftershave & NO Bridget Jones pants.
8. Don’t hide away if you’re single. Most clubs will put on something for couples/singles alike. Get together with some single friends - leave the couples behind and PARTY!!
9. Do put on a smile. Flirty or friendly. Nobody wants to be sitting there with a face like thunder.
10. Don’t not enjoy Valentine’s Day!!! It only happens once a year.. Single or not, get yourself out on the 14th and let cupid do his magic.

Graeme Aitken

@graemeaitkin

I Too Am An Egyptian; The End of Mubarak

2011-02-11T21:52:00.003Z

Here at The Blurst Times we’re obligated to watch the news and stuff. As you’re probably all too aware there has been a bit of an uprising in Egypt where a 30 year dictatorship has been overhauled as a result of a breakout of intense pressure in the last few weeks from a nation fed up of suppression, dissent and the imprisoning of opposition.

Hosni Mubarak had been living in a state of deNile since he shocked the world by revealing the ultimate dick move by gathering the world’s media to tell them “I'm not resigning”. Less than a day later, his Vice-President delivered a slightly ominous speech where he pleaded “ May God help everybody” and also announced the resignation of Hosni Mubarak as president.

His replacement, for the time being, is the military high command and defence minister, Hussein Tantawi, who has been described by the Wikileaks diplomatic cables as “aged and change-resistant”. I assume that if he was voted out in the September elections that it would prove less of a challenge to oust the 75 year-old from his office.

It is surprising that it has taken this long to see a visible stance against Mubarak. When you consider that he was paranoid enough, it would seem justifiably, to rule the country under a perpetual state of emergency ever since taking over in 1981, then there was probably not much opportunity to get rid of him in the old-fashioned assassination way (though in a trip to Kenya in 1995 he survived one such attempt).

In the end, it was the continuous peaceful protests organised as Facebook Events (I clicked Maybe Attending) and Twitter that assisted in his demise. In 18 days, youth activism had managed to topple a 30-year oppressive regime. It certainly makes me feel like an inconsequential dickhead for spending my time on Facebook during that time by “liking” endless streams of awkward moments with no real purpose. Egypt, you’re making the rest of us look bad by comparison- that’s not what Facebook is for. Though they do give us a good retort for if our excessive time spent online is ever questioned- “But if it wasn’t for Facebook then Egypt would still be a dictatorship that’s why I need to be on Facebook for x amount of hours.”

I’ll have to work on that excuse, probably.

Anyway, since we’re a hub of opinions and comedy value at The Blurst Times, I’ll leave you with my speculation of what Mubarak will be up to now that he has all this free time.

The end of his reign now allows Mr. Mubarak more time to dedicate to his passion of being Silvio Berlusconi’s wing-man. Even though there is no doubting that he is a horrible bastard, by looking at the guy I can tell he has mad skills with the ladies.

His repertoire of Egypt themed chat up lines is endless from the obvious- “When I’m done with you, you’ll be walking like an Egyptian”- to the ill-thought- “You know, in Egypt we see cats as Gods. Just thinking of your pussy makes me understand why.” His moves are probably way less likely to work now, however, as his assets have been frozen from his Swiss bank account. Gutted for him.

Findlay Mair
@fin1991

After the Tone: Thirty Minutes with The Answering Machine

2011-02-11T20:49:00.005Z

After Manchester-based indie band the Answering Machine's recent Drummonds gig, with support from hectic art-poppers Rapids!, we spoke with TAM lead singer Martin about his experiences with the first gig of the new album tour...

Hey there! What did you think of Aberdeen?
Well, I'm not kissing arse here, but Aberdeen is our favourite place to play a show, hands down! We have been there three times, once with Rumble Strips and twice for headline shows. We're so shocked and amazed at the city's buzz and enthusiasm! (and scantly clad women, for such a cold city!) It feel like everyone makes such a huge effort to have a good night out!

They're used to the cold, that's what it is! How did you find your "first tour", then? What you expected?
It was our first tour promoting the new material from our second album, but we did a load of tours for the first album! We're almost veterans, at the age of 25! Ha. The tour was pretty amazing, if not a little awkward, playing new songs that no-one's ever heard before. We'll be playing a big song from our first album and people are going nuts, then we'll break into a new one and it feels like the room goes silent. Ha. I'm sure that's just a few nerves though. We're really proud of our new songs. They're really interesting to play live too, lots more instrumentation and experimentation.

I did notice a larger range of instruments for the newer material - including Pat's bizarre blowing thing - what was that? And since when did you play drums?
Haha, that's called a Melodica! Mick, who runs our label, just randomly bought it for us one day! He said he liked the look of it! So then the task was to write it into a couple of songs! I actually play it as a lead instrument on one of the songs on the new album called 'The End'! Oh, and as for the drums.... We did a tour last year with a band called Casiokids, and they moved from one instrument to the next. We wanted to try a similar thing. I've been teaching myself drums for the past few weeks.

I know Casiokids, actually! Didn't realise they would be an inspiration. Well, for a beginner you're pretty bloody good. How were Rapids!, then, during the tour? How many mic stands did they shatter..?
They're amazing live! And a lovely group of guys! We'd bonded like true men over a round of Sambucas at a club in Glasgow.. I think Matt shattered his mic stand in London, snapped the bottom off! They'll never make any more on the road, it all just goes on fixing broken equipment! Ha. It was their first tour as a band too, so they were extra excited, made us feel old actually!

I did notice they seemed to be a little... full of beans, as it were. I notice you took an odd stance on being compared to the Pigeon Detectives of late - who would you compare your sound to? Who inspired your second LP?
Yeah, I was a little shocked at that comparison. I'm all for people having an opinion on music and band comparisons seems an easy way to describe a sound, but I can't even see where this reviewer's coming from. A whole heap of things inspired the new EP, but I guess the main thing we wanted to do was to break down the sound of Another City Another Sorry. Although we love our debut album, we just felt it was all in 5 gear so to speak, I wanted this album to drop in a gear a lot, I'd even go as far to say that it reverses half way through the album, with some mad instrumental song! ;) It's a contemporary reference, but I wanted to have the sparse sounds of The Whitest Boy Alive. There's also hints of Radiohead and The Radio Dept in there. I'm also a big fan of The Shins, so a couple of songs have that US Indie Folk edge to them.

Sounds like a pretty nice mix of inspiration in there - folk sounds interesting, like you're doing what Bombay Bicycle Club did with Flaws. I'll make this the last question, then - are you looking forward to playing in Europe?
I can't enthuse enough about this European tour! I've always wanted to travel across Europe, regardless of being in a band. So to get the chance to do it with your best friends, in a van, drinking European premium lager, well... it's a dream! We've played one show in Amsterdam before now, and we also played Ibiza Rocks with Dirty Pretty Things a couple of years back, but apart from that, this'll be a first! I'm most excited about playing Paris and Berlin, for obvious reasons, but also I can't wait to play in Luxembourg! I never thought I'd be playing there! We really like Tokyo Police Club too, so it's great to be doing this tour with them! We'll bring you back some Bratwursts!

Joe Sutherland
@foxhuntingx

Ask Blurst #1

2011-02-09T22:56:00.011Z

Do you have a problem that needs solved? Each week you can anonymously Ask Blurst for help with your worries and we will do our best to help you out!

Thanks to Laura Young for offering her advice this week.

Dear Blurst, My girlfriend and mother hate each other and it's driving me up the wall. I'm constantly stuck in the middle. It all came to a head recently when my mother asked me to stop seeing my girlfriend altogether, "or else". What should I do?
Laura: Have you tried asking your girlfriend and your mum why they don't like each other? Your girlfriend probably feels a bit threatened, after all mums are always gonna be the most important woman in a man's life! Also your mum will just want the best for you. Try getting them both to have a coffee together when you're not there and see if they can clear the air over a shared affection of you? Good luck!

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Hey Blurst Times. My roommate is a slob who refuses to clean up after himself and keeps taking my food without permission. I've asked him to get his act together, but he won't listen. I can't kick him out because I need him to pay rent. What should I do? - Stephen
Laura: You've tried speaking to him reasonably and he's not listening so I would lock my food cupboard if possible? Make him learn the hard way. If he leaves dishes everywhere you could also try putting those in his room or in a cupboard with the rest of his clean dishes? Show him you mean business and hopefully he won't keep walking over you.

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Dear Blurst, My son is very antisocial and has few friends. All he does with his time is play computer games, and no matter what I say to him he won't stop. I just wish he would be a normal teenager. I'm considering taking him to a therapist. Should I? - Linda
Laura: Most teenage boys are obsessed with computer games and it is just a phase that he should grow out of. Unfortunately, there's nothing you can really do to hurry it along apart from taking away all his games (something I neither condone or recommend - I have a teenage brother myself and I doubt this would end well). Maybe try talking to him and explain you're worried about him. Best of luck!

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Hi BT! My boyfriend has a stupid dog which he's been trying to house train for a year. I constantly have to clean up after it and last week it destroyed a £600 suite. I've asked him to get rid of it but he refuses. What should I do? - Sam
Laura: Maybe you and your boyfriend could take the dog to dog training classes together. This shows that you're making an effort and supporting your boyfriend. If he can see you making an effort then he's more likely to see your point of view and may reconsider his decision. All the best!

If you have a question you would like answered on Ask Blurst, please visit our Formspring. You can leave questions anonymously, but please leave a name - even if it's not your own!

Irresponsible Parents + Annoying Southerners

2011-02-09T22:27:00.003Z

Warning: This article contains strong language and/or sexual references which younger readers are advised to avoid.

I was doing my big shop in Asda the other day and was perusing the DVD section for a cheap £3 film to watch while having my dinner that night, i might add at this point that I found a rather good Norwegian Nazi zombie horror comedy film called "Dead Snow" but anyway I digress.

I couldn’t help but have my focus taken to the boy next to me, who couldn’t have been any older than 10 picking up a copy of the action film "Taken" and bringing it to his parents. Without a second though the mother looked once at the DVD and placed in the trolley... Seriously, why are these people allowed to have children!

I hope to have kids of my own one day, and still being a young rabble rouser myself plan to be quite lenient with them. My children will have permission to smoke and drink as much as they want by the time they're 16, watch 18 rated films when they're 15 and swear their tits off whenever they learn a new word. But will I fuck let my 10-year-old son watch Liam Neeson hunt down and brutally murder and torture Eastern Europeans while trying to save his teenage daughter from being sold into prostitution, that’s just fucking irresponsible.

This brought back similar emotions I experience when forced to sit through Jeremy Kyle. I sit there and think when I'm in charge and my Reich rule the UK, all people will have to take strict personality tests when they turn 16. Anybody who fails one of these tests will be booked in for a medical castration which, if I'm in a particularly fowl mood, will involve no anaesthesia and a brick.

Other people that have been winding me up this week are people from Manchester who consider themselves "Northerners". You can take that description and stick it right up your arse. In what way can anyone from somewhere like Manchester come to Aberdeen and call themselves a northerner, it baffles me. I've lived an hour north of Aberdeen my whole life and consider Edinburgh to be southern so find it funny when I cross the divide from the bright side of Britain and all of a sudden get a bunch of "northern" Geordies. Maybe these Mancs are considered northern by people from Southampton or Plymouth who are so far south they may as well be French, or by people from London who look down their noses at anybody north of Bedfordshire but honestly, who gives a flying fuck what those pretentious wankers think.

Martyn Simpson

National Television Awards 2011

2011-01-27T07:00:00.012Z

It's never a good thing when Louie Spence has a microphone in his hand in the O2 arena. And it only gets worse when "Boogie Wonderland" and a rainbow-coloured backdrop burst through the television, and his troupe of dancers perform a dance the organisers themselves call "disco-tastic".

Fortunately he wasn't the primary presenter at the National Television Awards tonight. Dermot "The X Factor" O'Leary took that role, waltzing up and down the crowd like he was composed of precious metals.

It perhaps goes without saying that the arena was full. Thousands upon thousands of television-loving, uh, people flocked into one place to witness the Colchester boy emerge from a TARDIS. And, obviously, do a bit of presenting.

A bizarre beginning saw half-baked comedy Benidorm take the first award, while that series of I'm a Celebrity claimed the "Best Entertainment Programme" award. A shocker, since this has been a good year for QI and company; probably a good thing for Stephen Fry who was stuck in bad traffic at the time. Still, you're not going to see a Z-list popstar eat a penis or a has-been Scottish poo inspector faint at the mention of insects anywhere else. Except maybe Glasgow on a Saturday.

Fatboy Ricky Norwood (that's not an insult, that's actually his Eastenders character's name) scooped the award for "Best Newcomer" and according to Heat "is thanking EVERYONE". Can't really blame the lad, he's with Jade Ewen.

Rather strangely (but fittingly), the next award was presented by a man who spent a lot of 2010 in a very deep hole. "Best Drama" was plucked out of nowhere by Waterloo Road; amazing for a programme which manages to mirror the faults of Grange Hill so seamlessly and still contain a man famous for providing the voice of the world's most optimistic builder. Still, it could have been Shameless...

"Digital Choice Award" went to the impressive The Inbetweeners, to the joyous rapture of a Glee-despising nation and the flowing tears of the rest. You wouldn't catch Louie Spence crying, though, as he burst on with a ridiculous V-neck and a dance to suit a Prime Minister - if you believe Vernon Kay, anyway. He announced Lacey Turner (Stace in Eastenders) as the eventual winner of "Best Drama Performance".

To stop a conflict of interest, rent-a-host Jonathan Ross came on to announce that Dermot hadn't actually won. It went to Ant & Dec - regular NTA enthusiasts would know that's the tenth time (yes, tenth) that they've won "Best Entertainment Presenter". They gave a suitably grateful thank you from the Cardiff set of Britain's Got Talent before Simon Cowell - of all people - rushes to give his congrats. Truly deserved, mind you.

This Morning won the award that frankly nobody gave a toss about: "Best Topical Magazine". When you're up against Loose Woman, winning isn't so much a triumphant punch in the air but a heavy sigh of relief.

At this point, Matt Cardle gave perhaps his worst ever display of vocal, uh, prowess, shortly before the fantastic Top Gear snatched the "Factual Programme" from under Sir Alan's nose. Although quite how Junior Apprentice classes as Factual, we'll never know.

After The X Factor picked up a routine "Best Talent Show" gong from a couple of kids plucked at random from the crowd, a biggie - "Best Drama Performance". Matt Smith, Phillip Glenister and the man with the best name in the world, Benedict Cumberbatch, all missed out to David Jason for his role in the, um, brand new A Touch of Frost. Well done big man.

He might not be able to get himself knighted but boy does he know how to win awards. Bruce Forsyth was handed a Special Achievement Award instead of a telegram from the Queen. Having his work commended by Tess Daly, Stephen Fry and, oddly, Paul Merton, he joked about how he wasn't going to retire on the night, to the despair of the baying crowd.

Adding another to the list of things ITV is liable to cock up live on air, they decided to put the last award, "Best Serial Drama", down to a public vote. The usual suspects made an appearance in the nominations, including Coronation Street and its hilariously low-budget tram scene. However, despite the backlash earlier in the month for its baby swap storyline, London-based Eastenders somehow grabbed the final award of the night, and spent most of the night thanking everyone working there.

And like that, the National Television Awards drew to a close for another year, leaving the public with a warm feeling, knowing that they, too, have wasted a pound's phonecall on Hollyoaks.

Joe Sutherland
@foxhuntingx